A
female
age
30-35,
*ophisticated08
writes:Hey all... so im having a problem i have been dating this guy for six months and he thinks of me as his everything i just dont feel the same way anymore. i have told him numerous times that its not working out but he insist that we are not ever gonna break up, that we are always going to be together no matter what... i think thats a little creepy kind of like a fatal love attraction or pyscho.... anyway my other problem is.... me and my ex have been broken up for about 7-8 months but we still keep in touch with each other through text or calling.... he has a girlfriend they been together 4 months and he keeps telling me he doesnt have the feelings for this girl like he does me.... he told me he doesnt even love this girl but he feels guilty breaking up with her because the girl is so in love with him ..... wow only took four months to fall in love i guess for her.... he recently told me she is moving in with him this really hurt me i started to cry because he doesnt even really know this girl well enough for her to move in.... it just doesnt seem right and he had know idea about her moving in at all.....really how so i wonder? But he also told me he really loves me like he is in love with me.... so now im not sure what to do.... i really do want to be with him but i dont think i should stick around and wait until him and the girl are over.... but i kind of want to so not sure what to do.... my question is should i wait or just move on..... he just seems confused right now i think....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (16 January 2012):
This is a very good example of why you don't "remain friends" or stay in contact when you break up!
I know very few people who are ever 100% about there breakup, otherwise you would break up, snap your fingers and not have to "get over someone".
What is bad when people stay in contact after a breakup is that the good feelings may still linger, and not being entrenched in each other's lives, you no longer have the stress that caused the breakup. So its just a fantasy that you and/or the other person perpetuate.
He can't give his girlfriend 100% if you two are still emotionally involved and you can't do that for your boyfriend either. So neither of you can really make a good decision.
Sounds like there are 4 people being used here, you and your ex using each other, and you both using your current mates. At the very least stop communicating with the ex, then make an objective evaluation about the current b/f. He will be better off too.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 You should move on. Okay so you have made it clear that you are not interested in your current boyfriend, so let the poor buy go before he gets hurt even more, you might find it creepy but he just feels like you are always going to be part of his life because he loves you. You need to set him fee now before you hurt him any more. You need to tell him straight that it is over and let him move forward and repair his life.
As for this ex. He didn't know his girlfriend was moving in with him? Really? Are you that silly, off course he knew. He is playing with your heart strings. Why did you two break up? Usually there is a fairly good reason why two people break up so you need to think back on that realistically. He is with someone else now and he is obviously grooming you so that maybe he can have his wicked way with you while going back to her. Be careful. You say you want to wait for him, but what if you are waiting for years of your life? Maybe his girlfriend might be his future wife. Either way he is not to be trusted. Get him out of your life and start of as a new single independent person. Give yourself some time alone to find yourself again.
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