A
female
age
36-40,
*edd_Doll01
writes:I am married and my husband is a cheater and a liar. I been with him every since i was 16 and got married to him when i was 18 every since we have been dating he have been cheating on me. When i leave he comes to my house and beat on the door apologizing and wanting me to take him back.He treat me like a queen for a couple a weeks and then he turn back to a monster. About 3 months ago i lost our first son he was a still born but the whole while i was pregnant he was with this other woman and the night i went in labor he was with this other woman and make it so bad about it he got her pregnant and he did not tell me nothing about it. The way i found out is about her she called my phone and ask for him and she told me and she is three months pregnant and the bad part about it im pregnant by him again i am 2 months when i confronted him he got mad at me and beat me and grab my hair cursing at me saying the other woman was a lie and about a week later he finally tells me the truth i am so hurt because i have been nothing but faithful to him he is the only one i have dated and have sex with i don't know what to do because he keep crying, apologizing, and buying me things and willing to change his life but a major problem if i take him back i still have to deal with this other woman!!!! please tell me should i leave or should i stay
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Dear Doll01:
Run, run, run! He sounds like my husband of 14 years. I am in therapy now and am devising a plan to get away. You are young. Get out of the pattern before it's too late. I have wasted 14 years of my life - don't do the same! Do it for your child and for yourself. Take care! ooo
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 October 2009):
I'll tell you straight that you need to leave this guy. He's a viper! You deserve so much better than this, and you can find better than this. End the relationship and give yourself some time. It might help to see a counsellor to work through all your feelings. But please leave this guy. He isn't worth a fraction of your time.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (2 October 2009):
 Both Eyes Wide Open and Lazy Guy are telling you all that need to be said. Please get out of this toxic relationship at once. He will not change and he is a crud.
RUN SCREAMING!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 October 2009):
 So... ever since you two dated, for two years, he cheated. Then you got married to him...
Then you get pregnant, results in a miss carriage while he knocks up someone else.
Then he beats you.
Am I missing something? I think I am, because there is no way a "normal" person would have to ask what to do next. A "normal" person would have ditched this guy in the dating period.
So, why didn't you?
Apart from leaving him you need to deal with what ever caused you to stay in the first place.
It may be lack of self-esteem, do you think you can't do better then this?
Perhaps you think this is normal? What kind of family life did you grow up in? Children who see abuse (and this is abuse) often repeat it in their own relationships.
You don't mention the word love, so you might not be one of those people who claim that because they are in love they can't give up on a person.
The way you say you might take him back suggest you believe he is going to change, no nice way to say this, but are you extremely gullible? Some people, especially women have been so raised to be nice, to always see the best in people they are unable to just say "this person is a piece of waste and I am no longer going to spend any time on them".
You need to end this, but also get help to deal with the issues that caused you to be so long with him in the first place or you will just repeat this over and over.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 October 2009):
 You should leave, no ifs ands or buts. He sounds like a dangerous man even without adding in the cheating, you need to pack your bags and escape. He will continue to cheat and he will continue to beat you. Do it for your baby if you don't want to do it for yourself. Run Honey.
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