A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have an online male friend that tells me he loves me. I love him as well but not quite the way I think he wants me to. Any time I try to put some distance between us he goes of his nut and acuses me of using him and not loving him anymore. I speak to him almost every day andhe knows alot of the ppl I am friends with.he lives in another country so I know nothing can come of this relationship. But I can't seem to find the strength to leave...the relationship chews up whole afternoons and when I am with him all is good..but ewhen I am not and we cant be together we fight ALL the time...How do I make this relationship healthy again...do u even think I can? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 This isn't normal.
You cant possibly have a 'relationship' with someone you have never met. It smacks of issues. The most common one being that people like these kind of 'relationships' because they are what they see as safe. Avoiding real initmacy for some reason or another.
I would be legging it from this person as fast as my fingers would take me. But I would also be questioning why I got into it myself, in the first place.
This person is way too desperate & its 99.9% doomed. And the 'its' is an unknown description really. I dont know what it should be called really?
You're wasting your time on the net when you should be out there meeting real people. Use the internet for chat, but leave it at that. Trying to get anything more from it (apart from eBay, chit chat stuff like here & online banking) is a dead end in my opinion.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009): It doesn't sound healthy at all. He sounds controlling. Not only that, but even it were all wonderful, the distance would mean that is no real chance of a future together.Your choice, of course, but my recommendation is to send him a one-line email saying that its over, and not to contact you again.If necessary, get a new email address - and don't give it to any of your friends who might supply him with it!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 I think his insecurity is due to the distance, and maybe partly because he is a little controlling and "needy".
I doubt your relationship with this man will ever be really healthy.
Have you considered WHY you are dating this man, instead of someone who can be there for you? Is he a form of escape from "real" dating? Meting "real" people? ( I don't mean that he is not real, but on the Internet you can be whomever you want ( to a degree) you can be single, divorced, a man, a woman, living wherever and having whatever job you can think off.)
I think in the long run, you need to decide if this is for you. No one can tell you if it is right or wrong.
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