A
female
age
30-35,
*allenAngel19
writes:My Boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and hes always wanted to be with another girl from his past while dating me.. i dont want to lose him so i let him be with us both but now im sick but i wont admit to being upset or he will get mad at me. but we have a year old son together and i need help. if i tell him i dont want him with her too i will get a sob story and a guilt trip and i fall for it because im not mean or anything and its stressful Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 sweetheart, you have to decide what you want for your life, and your son's, to always be second best, what if you live for the next 60 years, 60 years of feeling sick like you do now. Even another 12 months of feeling sick is 12 months too many!
Is he really worth it? Isnt your son worth more than what he is getting from his father? Dont you deserve to be number one with somebody who loves you, and only you?
YOu need to leave this poisonous relationship, its not mean to take care of your health, and you need to be healthy to be the best mum you can be to your little boy.
Dont get put on a guilt trip, the only thing you are guilty of is loving somebody who isnt worth your love.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): So let me get this straight you are allowing him to see/sleep with another woman? Get you're self esteem together here. If he dumps you because he wants to cheat he was never worth keeping in the first place. Kick his butt to the curb or loose the zero and get a hero whatever you want to say real men act like real men and don't cheat. Think about what he's teaching the child. Stand up for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): As you told him he could be with her, im not sure why you feel upset about it now. Its best to tell him you want him to be exclusively yours and if he cant do that, then leave him because hes not making you happy and he sounds incredibly selfish. Talk about having his cake and eating it! If you meet someone else who wants to be with their ex, dont date them x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): Hey Fallenangel119,I feel really sorry for you reading this post, your a young girl who is putting up with what sounds to be a very demoralising relationship and what shouts out from your post is that you have low self esteem and you have been beaten down into going along with something you dont eant at all but you dont want to lose your boyfriend.But sadly i have to say that your relationship with your boyfriend is not one of love and respect, at least not on his part. Sweetheart, your still young and you have your whole life ahead of you, do you want to be with someone who you are scared of and who you have to accept is sleeping with another girl?You have a little boy so i know that babies can make you feel you want to stay with your partner, but really i think you would be best to look at the future with your partner. Do you want to spend your life with a man who you are scared of and who is knocking your confidence into the ground. Or could you imagine a future where you gain the strength to get out of this relatonship and build up the confidence to be a mum and a lady who doesnt take the crap you are being given?There is no reason why you have to put up with this hun and all i can say is i feel very strongly that you deserve to e treated so much better than what you are doing. Look after yourself and your little boy and i hope that you listen to the advice you get on here, i hazard a guess you will be getting a lot of thoughts on this x
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (15 January 2010):
 Hun, sorry to say but you have tolerated his behaviour and he is not going to change... so there are two choices here, either let him go as he is cheating on you with another girl [as well as cheating on the other girl to be with you], and he is also abusing you emotionally by using guilt to keep you as a girlfriend, or you continue to tolerate his behaviour just to call him your boyfriend!!
This is a destructive relationship, as you are now taking a beating mentally and you are suffering while he has two girls running after him.
Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life??
Do you want your child to grow up believing that its okay to see mom so unhappy and dad with other women??
I understand it will be very hard to walk away, but for your own sanity I suggest that you start making plans to move out.
Honeygirl
...............................
|
