A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have broken up with my gf of nearly a year and a half recently. I'm really struggling to cope even thought I finished with her. I felt stuck in a rut and didnt know what else to do. She was always angry and moody with me and i felt so tense when i was around her. But at the same time we had the occasional good times together. It just all got too much. Now i'm finding it really really hard to stick to my decision, she is promising she will change and that i just need to give her a chance, but after giving her chances before i feel like i dont know what to do. The thought of starting fresh with someone new scares the life out of me but in a way i feel like this is the right thing for me to do. But should i give her another chance? Any advise would be great. Thankyou. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, vovolady  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 If you really love her, I say yes. But make it so very clear that this is the last straw and that if she changes that it has to be a constant change, that she may not always be perfect but she sure as hell cant start being a bitch! 4 reals lol but if she doesnt mean anything to you than whatever.
A
female
reader, Honest_Answers +, writes (29 March 2010):
 Nope - people don't change. It's too easy to remember the good times from past relationships, it ended for a reason now stick to your decision.
Find someone who is fun and good to be around and shares your passions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): You dont say what was making her unhappy and moody.
I grew unhappy in my relationshup, following mistakes my partner had made. He became fed up with my moods and said if i couldnt move on from things we should part. So we parted. He changed his mind and wanted to try again. I agreed on the condition he changed some of his ways. So he did and we are fine now.
Look into your heart. If you know there were things about you that made her unhappy, you try to change too and give things another chance. Atleast then if it doesnt work out you can both agree that you tried together. That way if theres a next time and you leave, you will be in no doubt that it is the right thing to do x
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A
female
reader, ~sara~ +, writes (29 March 2010):
Well I wouldn't give her another chance at least for a while. I think you are just used to each other and it is hard to move on and leave your comfort zone. It sounds like you weren't very happy together and would fight all the time. You should be with someone who brings out the best in you, not someone who you fight with. I would at least try to move on and date other people for a while. Don't just be with someone because that is who you are comfortable with and who tells you what you want to hear. I think that if you feel like you did the right thing then you did so try not to question it. Try to move on and see what happens. I had a similar situation with my ex boyfriend. I brokeup with him and he wanted me back and told me he would change for me. I didn't and we are both really happy and better off being just friends. We just weren't that good for each other.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 If you can find in your kind, compassionate and generous heart to forgive her, by all means , give her another chance.
Try not to commit those old mistakes again .Know each others limits and boundaries and always seek a compromise if you have opposing views.
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A
female
reader, tofulove  +, writes (29 March 2010):
No, you have given hre many chances before. I feel the same way with my boyfriend. We fight alot. We used to have alot of fun together but when we fight he always promises he will change. The only reason we are still together is because we have a son together & we want to have a proper family. My boyfriend is finding it really hard to change but slowly is now he has realized this is not the way to bring up a son. I have given him numerous chances & now he finally realizes what is important, acting childishly & immature or having a family.
Do you belive she will really change. Can you even see it in her to change? Or do you just see her as the same person lying about promises? Do you love. If it's that strong maybe you should give her a last chance. But if you don't see her being able to change, maybe you should start new with someone who provides you with what you need, in this case a loving & happy relationship.
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