A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am so confused. I was married to S and had two kids. We divorced after 7 yrs. Due to the fact he was cold and selfish. I met and married A 4 months later. Two days after getting married S calls and says he still loves me and wants me back. So I break things off with A and go back to S. We are together about two months and he dumps me for another women. So I start seeing A again. Then 6 weeks later S comes crawling back. SO at this point I am now seeing both of them. They both want me to break things off with the other. One is the father of my kids and the other is one of my best friends. I dont know how to choose I choose one my kids lose their daddy I choose the other and I take the chance of losing my soul mate. Help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, candy00s  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 I think you should stop seeing them both and take some time to work things out in your head.
Was A a rebound thing or is he your soul mate? S sounds like he messes you around picks and chooses when he wants to be with you.
Your kids dont have to loose their dad they can still see him.
Take a bit of time to get things straight in your head.
xxx
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Choose neither of them and be single for a while. You married A on the rebound from a divorce, only to abandon that marriage shortly after and go back to your ex. It is hardly ideal with either man because you wouldn't be dating both if you were 100% happy with either! Reading between the lines, you come across as someone who maybe afraid of being on their own so it is easier to be with these guys in less than ideal circumstances than be alone. Unfortunately none of you are getting a good deal here because all the time you three are together then you are denying yourselves the opportunity to find partners who will make you each happy enough not to settle for the half-measures you currently each have.
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