A
female
age
30-35,
*T1993
writes:So, here's the whole thing. I have been with my boyfriend for about 1 year and 3 months now, I have had thoughts about dumping him and I don't know whether I love him or not. Lately I've been dreading his calls, texts and visits because he's just so clingy and I'm not used to being with someone who calls me all the time and wants to be with me everywhere I go. So I just told him that I'm fed up of this relationship and I wanted it to stop. Now we're in a relationship but without all the clingy stuff. It's not bugging me that much except for the fact that I keep thinking that maybe I'm in love with another guy I had a flirt with a while ago. The thing is that this guy has a girlfriend and the more I think about him the more I want to be with him, I've gotten to a point where I am determined to be with him...what shall I do?!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (15 June 2011):
Hi there. If this other guy has a girlfriend, he's taboo anyway. He's taken.
The attraction towards him, might be the forbidden fruit thing. Wanting something you can't have.
You might have to appreciate him only from afar. Don't try and steal him from his girlfriend. You wouldn't like it if someone did that to you.
As for the other guy you are with, well just try to develop this relationship a bit more. Get to know him better and go out to interesting places together and have fun.
Also, to make your own life more interesting generally speaking, how about starting some hobbies and interests. Go out with your own friends and have coffee or see a movie. In short, have more fun.
It sounds like you are bored, more than anything else.
You do need to each have your own lives and your own friends. Otherwise, it can go a bit stale.
Some time apart from each other on a regular basis - say twice a week. You go out - he goes out - separately.
If you do this, it will breathe some fresh air into your relationship again. Sounds like it needs it.
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