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female
,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for nearly two and a half years. i love him but things aren't the same anymore. i know a man through friends who i am very attracted to and last year we ended up kissing. nothing ever came of it, as he knew i had a boyfriend but i know he is attracted to me. the problem is that seeing as nothing came of it, he has now got a new girlfriend, but there is still strong chemistry between us. i don't know how serious he is about her but they have only been going out a few weeks and i have very strong feelings for him. what should i do about him, his girlfriend and my boyfriend? or should i forget everything and carry on with my boyfriend? i need realistic advice!! please help!
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female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Maybe you are just a bit bored in your relationship and you are starting to think that the grass will be greener on the other side. But will it? Maybe you just need to spice your own relationship up a bit. Suggest to your partner that you go away for the weekend somewhere or something. Ignore your feelings for this other bloke because if you do get with him it could end up being the worst relationship ever. Then you will regret leaving your boyfriend but then things will be too late. Spice up your relationship hunny. Forget this other man.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (31 August 2006):
 The question is whether or not you want to be with your boyfriend? If you're thinking about being with other guys, I don't think it's right for you anymore. I know it can be hard to let go when you've been with someone for so long but you have to get rid and move on if that's what's best for you.
Secondly, you need to find out whether you want another boyfriend so soon. Maybe some time on your own would be good for you so take some time out and think about whether you want to get into another relationship so fast.
Then, if you decide it is what you want, you need to speak to this new guy and see how he feels. If he feels more for you than this girlfriend he has now, then he can finish her and you two can give things a go.
Let me warn you, it can get very complicated when there's other boyfriends and girlfriends involved so maybe keep things quiet for a while before you come out as a couple, you don't want to upset anyone.
On the other hand, if he says he happy with this girl, then there's decision made. Be on your own for a while and see how you feel in a few months, you never know who you will meet then, do you?!
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): First of all you need to deal with the two problems separately. Start by thinking about your current relationship and decide whether you want to be in it or not regardless of the guy you are attracted to, consider whether you would prefer to be single than with your current boyfriend or not. You have to be fair to your current boyfriend and if you decide to split you should give him a clear reason for your decision. As far as the guy you are attracted to goes if you do decide to split from your boyfriend you should be totally honest with this new guy and just lay your feelings on the line. If he decides to stay with his girlfriend then it wasn't meant to be, if he decides not to then make sure he breaks up with her before anything happens between you.DO NOT approach the guy your attracted to before sorting things with your current boyfriend because you will end up hurting people more than is necessary including yourself. I wish you lots of luck and hope it works out for you.
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