A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:[Mod note: two questions from same user combined here.]Q1: i have alwasy had a gut feeling to wait for the perfect guy. and to not have sex until marriage or to wait till i am older to have sex.ive had boyyrfirneds in the pastbut im in love with my boyfriend and he is in love iwth mewe havent been going out that long.since the beggining of the school yearbt we are alwasy togetehr and i feel so strongly about himwe wer thinking about having sexim 14. extremyl young i knowbut 3 of my friends who are 14 have had sexand they wernt even in lovewell on of thembut yeahis this okayor nothelppppleaseshould i waitor noti love him! and thanks fr the help-----------------Q2: any tips on giving a blow job? needing help for my first time. i heard my boyfriends ex girlfriend was really good. but ive never given one, helpppp!?...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Hello. The fact that you are here asking others if you should have sex, proves you are sensible and you arent ready for something so life altering. There is a post here urging you to go for it but it is illegal, so please dont feel its something you have to do to fit in with others ideas. Once lost, you can never get your virginity back again, so wait until youre just a little older and you know without any doubts that you are with the right person.
You may hear stories from a lot of your firends about having sex but im afraid many of those stories are just that. Stories! Also dont be made to feel you have to compete for your boyfriends affection by giving him better blow jobs than his last girlfriend. You dont know that she did them better. You dont even know if he really had them. Lots make up things like that just to get you to want to do for them. Id leave it all for a while longer. But if you decide to go ahead make sure you use condoms evey time as its easy to get pregnant and catch infections. Try having a general chat with your mum about things.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): The numbers of girls who come in here doubting whether they should lose it or not is far higher than the boys. Here is what you should read from another poster today:
A female age 22-25, anonymous writes:
"lost my virginity last night - still feel like a virgin. It hurt and it was completely with the wrong guy - i remember crying after nad just wanting a cuddle - he feel a sleep and i was left in the darkness thinking about what i had allowed. I was dumb and so stupid but i wanted to not end up as an old virgin one day. I regret doing it with who i did it with but i don't feel too bad - it was only looking through some of the other comments about people waiting that got me feeling more bad. i still can't believe i am not a virgin - wow - a non virgin. wish i had a better story to tell - wish i'd waited in a sense but i'd built it up for years and last night, went with the flow perhaps too rashly. I don't think i'll see the guy again which makes me sad, my first time was a one night stand - not how i pictured it happening at all. I am dumb dumb dumb dumb. How does one learn to cope with this emotionally - i think i'm okay but feeling a bit so so about the whole thing. happy but not at the same time. I guess i was stupid and wanted to join the unvirgin club - thats why i was so stupid, but i can't do anything now except learn from this experience and move forward."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): If you're physically able, actually WANT to have sex, and you're in a relationship that is stable. Go for it. I lost my virginity at 15, my girlfriend was 14. We where together right up until we left for uni, which was 3 and half years (long distance relationships are hard). I feel it helped me grow as a person, I became more confident and mature. I don't regret it in the slightest, and neither does she (we still occasionally speak) I know guys who are still virgins at 21-22 who have become creepy and lecherous because they are desperate for sex, and I know girls at 21-22 who are still virgins who can't talk to a guy without appearing like an air-head because they've no experience communicating intimately. Sex and relationships are an important part of mental development, don't be afraid to experience them.This said, don't have sex just because your friends have been. Peer pressure is stupid. 14 is below age of consent for your country (USA is backwards having such a high legal age), watch you don't get yourself or anyone else into trouble. You may be ready, the backwards law system will make you out to be 5 years old though and label anyone with you a paedophile (even if he's only a year or two older), there are men who are in jail as paedophiles for daring to have sex with there 17 year old girlfriend when they where 18, seriously. Lastly. Use a damn condom. They are the best form of contraception, they protect against STD's and pregnancy. Remember USA has one of the highest rates for Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia in the western world. The only way you should not be using a condom is if you want to get pregnant, and you shouldn't be getting pregnant at your age.As for question two. The blow job. Just remember that what you're using is extremely sensitive. Don't let your teeth touch it too much, that is painful. Press your lips enough that there's a little pressure and imagine that you're sucking an ice lolly. Use your tongue to massage the head of the penis gently. If he has a foreskin (circumcision is common in USA so he probably won't) don't pull it back, it will be too sensitive for him to enjoy it. If he doesn't, don't worry about it. The best thing you can do is listen. If he says he likes something, moans or moves in pleasure, keep doing what your doing. When he's about to cum, keep it in your mouth, it will ruin it if you stop there, wait until after he's finished cumming and then carry on for about 2-3 seconds then stop, either swallow or spit, if you can swallow do so as it will be better for him if your not pulling away quickly. It will taste salty, warm and gooey. It's not a nice flavour but it's not particularly nasty either.Lastly, try to enjoy it, there's nothing better than giving your partner an orgasm (and I hope he's planning to go down on you as well. Most girls agree it's the best orgasms, you will enjoy it).Hope this advice was helpful. Hope you enjoy your sex life, have fun and be safe.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): I would defintely wait.
My first time i cried once i realized he wasnt the one
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 December 2009):
Yes, do wait. Your friend who lost it without love will certainly regret it later on in life. There's no rush, and it's better to lose it to the right person.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Not only should you wait, he should wait. I lost my virginity at 19. I know it seems late, but to be honest I wish I would have waited longer. I wish I could undo it. You can never wait too long.
Trust me, when the time is right... you won't get a chance to post a question on a message board first.
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A
female
reader, love0219 +, writes (7 December 2009):
Ok I was 14 before so I know exactly what you are going through.lol. First, I would like to say, you are way too young girlie. You do not want to lose your virginity at the age your at right now. The greatest gift a woman has to offer is her virginity. You only get one chance to give that to one person and no one else. I was 14 years old and I was dating this guy for about 2 months and I thought I was so in love.At the time , my friends were all having sex and some even got pregnant. As for me I was not even going to go that route and I was not about to become like my friends. I was going to wait for my Prince Charming, so I could get married and lose my virginity. Lets just say I did not wait until marriage to lose my virginity BUT I did find Prince Charming. He is my Fiance now. He is the only man I have been with and I am 23 years old. Not many 23 year old college girls can say that. I am lucky enough to say I have only had one partner and we are engaged and no one in the entire world can ever say different. Girlie, you are too young, do not rush sex. You may think your in love but your mentality is different as you get older. Stay young
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Yes, you are too young. Always go with your gut feeling. Don't have sex just because everyone else is doing it. I bet your friends that lost their virginity without love really regret it now. Please wait, you won't regret that.
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