A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heyy :)..i been with my boyfriend for a long time, and our sex life isnt bad, i just want to make it more exciting, but im too scared becos of my body. i know my boyfriend loves my body and doesnt care, where as i do, and i dont like trying new things as i get self concious.and another thing when he goes in to far, it really hurts and i dont know why =s its so annoying becos i know he enjoys it and i want to but i cant becos it hurts to much, so he has to be careful in what he does.can someone help me with my sex life, please? :) thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2010): It seems that there is an epidemic of women like you that have body image issues. If only you could see how beautiful you are through our (I think I am speaking for most men here) eyes. Ignore what you think the media and other women have told you to think you have to be. If you're boyfriend likes you, relax and enjoy life while you can.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the answers :)
i gotta try and relax more.. and he does hit my cervix and it does hurt, but i'll read in to it :).
thankyou again.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 So you are self conscious of the body you have now...ok. Do you have another one that you feel better in? NO? So start loving it. If your guys loves it, what more could you ask for?
Sexy starts in the mind, not the body. If you set your mind to sexy, and leave it on sexy, your body will have no choice but to follow along.
Maybe sex hurts because your mind is too busy worrying about other things than just relaxing, and having fun with sex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2010): Maybe you could watch some porn or even soft porn to find out what you both like. Communicate on what you both like. If you're not sure, let him guide you. Trust me...any guy is only going to do what he is comfortable with, so stop worrying about your body. At 20, how bad could it be? You need to build confidence...get involved in other things where you set yourself up for success. Join a group. Get a hobby. Volunteer time. If you build your confidence outside the bedroom, you will feel better in bed about yourself and will open up a whole new world of sexuality.
As for it hurting, my guess is he's very long and he is hitting your cervix. If he's longer than 7 inches, this is likely whats happening. There are positions that let the penis slide past the cervix...you may have to experiment as everyone's anatomy is different. THey also make foam donuts that fit around the penis and prevent excessive insertion but let him slam away, which guys like when it gets heated.
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A
male
reader, Cloverfield +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Self-image is an incredibly difficult thing to sort once & for all, just do what you can.
With regards to the sex / pain thing. It sounds as if he might be abit too long for you, & he's hitting your cervix, something I believe is quite painful. I'd recommend trying different positions, especially you ontop. This will give you more control over events, & if he loves you, he wont mind not going all the way in, no-one wants to hurt the person they love.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Its all about mind control, you need to focus on relaxing more. It takes practice but once you can relax more you should start enjoying it.
As for the pain, try more lubrication such as KY jelly.
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