A
female
age
30-35,
*ucy.whittaker
writes:Hi All,Ok, so I'm in a relationship with this guy, Josh. He's a really nice guy and I enjoy the time we spend together. The only problem is, I feel the relationship is moving way too fast. I'm like a rabbit in headlights and I want to run away, but perhaps I'm overreacting. Here is the situation:Broke up with boyfriend of 3 years 3 months ago. Though I'm okay about that now, I wasn't when we first got together, and I didn't feel ready to be with someone.Josh came over after a week of being together and effecively moved in for 3 weeks (we live in university halls, he lives in the next door building). My flatmates didn't mind and it was fun, but I was concerned it was too much.He went to France 2 weeks ago for Christmas, will be home tomorrow. He's been texting and calling, not forgotten me which is good, but it's made me feel restless. I went out with my friends and a guy a used to like years ago but got rejected by came onto me. It made me feel really good, and though nothing happened other than a bit of a flirty conversation I feel a bit like I wish it had? Is this normal, shouldn't I just miss Josh to the point I wouldn't talk to anyone else?! Because I had a good night without him there...Another thing is Matt. He and I have a weird history. Surfice to say, we would like to be together but I live in Wales 80% of the year and the long distance wasn't something I could cope with. I ended it for sure when Josh and I got together. I felt horrid about the way I handled it so I texted him to say I was back in London and that I was sorry. He sent nothing back. But on Christmas Eve e turned up on my doorstep with a present and a hug. I felt so happy and sad at the same time, because I think he is amazing but it wouldn't work.Finally, Josh keeps trying to tell me he loves me. I REALLY don't want that. We are moving so fast already, I can't deal with that kind of step yet. Not after the year I've had and the doubts I feel. How can I let him know how I'm feeling without ruining the relationship? Should I carry on hiding my insecurities to spare his feelingsnow, or brace him for the fact the it might not work because I'm still unsure?Lucy xxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): You need to tell this guy how you feel. Try to be gentle about it, say you'd like to slow down a bit but that you still want to be with him. If he doesn't like it, then you didn't really want to be with him in the first place. Remember that as your boyfriend, he should respect your feelings.
A
female
reader, Sometimes It Just Happens  +, writes (26 December 2009):
Tell him you care, but you think it that maybe you both should slow down because you are uncomfortable.
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