A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated the love of my life for two and a half years; we were really in love, but we were both sort of damaged and couldn't get it to work right. We tried to break it off a few times during the 2.5 yrs but it never really took, until we moved apart and finally really ended it when things were just too messed up. We moved away from each other for a year, and we weren't dating; I cried myself to sleep most nights for months (cried in the office lots of days for months) and was just sort of barely managing to keep it together, and then after a few months he called (from a thousand miles away) and wanted to talk about maybe getting back together. So we spent a few months talking about what went wrong, blah, blah, and then we still weren't back together, but we weren't really moving on.That was 9 months ago. Now we're living in the same city again, and we've been through the same cycle a few more times. He showed up a couple weeks ago (again) and wanted to talk about things. Not about getting back together now, but about getting to be friends again, to see whether getting back together at some point might work. I told him I couldn't do it -- that I just wanted him to leave me alone so I could find someone else and be happy.Now, of course, I'm regretting it, b/c after all this time, I still miss him terribly and haven't moved on at all. (And, for what it's worth, he's taken a job at my office and will be starting there in a few months, so soon we'll be colleagues and avoiding him won't be an option.)Was I right to tell him to bug off? Or should I have listened when he said that maybe things could be different? I told him I don't have any feelings left for him and that I don't envision or hope for a future with him anymore, but that isn't really true. It's not true at all, really, but I thought maybe if I said it he would go away and I could stop being in love with a guy who is forever just wasting my time. (I'm 29, and he's 28, if that makes a difference.) Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): it sounds like there is no reason y you shouldnt give it one last chance and if it doesnt work out then it will probibly be alot easier to move on this time because u kno at least u tried again but it sounds like its def. worth it and maybe you two will get it right and u will be happier then ever. i hope everything works out in whatever u decide good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): I went through this same situaton for 12 long years honey. Finally I had to tell him that it hurt me less to not have him at all then to have him in and out of my life. It was hard to move on, and dont get me wrong, when I do see him I still get a twinge. But it was for the best. It took alot of effort to get over him but I would like to say that I am in a better place right now. If you truly feel that he is wasting your time then it wont change. Especially if it hasnt by now. If you need to talk or anything at all please feel free to email me about this ok? I wish you luck on this journey, let me know how it goes...Jez
...............................
|
