A
female
age
30-35,
*orverRed27
writes:Okay, so there is this boy I have been talking too since april. We started hooking up (in april) but never had sex (though he tried). We hung out a few times, then summer came and we went home. All summer he texted me and would send me little picture messages of random stuff along with little captions haha.So he texted me on the first day i came back from summer to hang out, and we hung out like 4 days out of 6 that i was back before stuff went wrong. Keep in mind that the first night i was back, we hooked up and i finally told him i was a virgin (it just never came up before). He seemed to react pretty well to it. Randomly one day he just stopped texting me and being standoffish after we had hung out the day before. I even saw him at a party and he made out with some girl in front of me. Finally, i took notice he was being distant so i asked what was up. He told me "no everything is fine though i dunno about hookin up anymore, the virgin thing just doesnt sit well on me, personally im fine with your choice but i dont want to encroach it". i was shocked!!! I have never had this happen to me before, with any guy. Im just really confused and it doesnt make sense for that to be the issue because we hung out 3 times after that and he even initiated most of it. And he talked to me all summer...and all my friends even were like you guys have mad chemistry. And before summer, we would lay in bed all day and cuddle and talk...it just doesnt make sense. My aunt thinks it may be because he actually does like me and is just trying to escape it.Any thoughts of what may be going through his mind??
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female
reader, ForverRed27 +, writes (7 September 2010):
ForverRed27 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell last night he texted me about a party he was having and i know it was probably a mass text but why would you tell someone you didnt want to hook up with anymore to come to your party. So i didnt respond and then when i got there, he blind sided me to come give me a hug....weird...i dont know why hes being nice like this.
A
female
reader, star2010 +, writes (30 August 2010):
He just wants sex...MOVE ON!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Lucky escape, many players will sex with anyone... but he is the inexperienced one whom has developed some feelings for you although feel guilty about himself. Now he knows you aren't just a piece if meat to have sex with he has realised using you was a mean thing to do more than usual (i.e. difference between just being the next shag and the first, before running off with someone else)
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A
male
reader, TalonZurfluh  +, writes (23 August 2010):
in my eyes, your very lucky, or just responsible to have your virginity. its a beautiful thing. maybe your partner has had sexual relationships before you, and wouldnt feel comfortable taking your virginity. if he doesnt feel like hes the perfect guy for you, he might feel incredibly guilty taking it from you. at least a caring guy would feel that way. ive had lots of virgin talks with my girlfriend, and thats how she feels. msg me back if this helped please
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A
female
reader, ForverRed27 +, writes (23 August 2010):
ForverRed27 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've never once even mentioned a relationship to him or even gotten close to talking about what we are cause i just really havent thought about going there yet. I understand that taking someones virginity is huge, but it just doesnt explain why he continued to talk to me for sooo long. Usually guys loose interest if they cant get it after a certain point in time. we were hookin up for a about a month then continued to talk to me all through summer. I feel like there is something, and the virginity thing is an excuse for something else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): Maybe he's worried it will mean more to you than it will to him. I'm sorry to say but he may just be looking for sex and not a relationship and he knows that taking someone's virginity is often a big deal. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings by just using you for sex so he'd rather not tempt himself and keep things platonic and just friends. Do you want a relationship with him or just sex? I suggest you decide what it is you want exactly and then tell him that. Maybe all he wants is something casual.
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