A
female
age
36-40,
*amtlg2010
writes:My husband and I will have been married two years December 12 2010. I am pregnant will our first child and due November 21 2010. My husband works out of town a lot, sometimes a week to two weeks at a time. I don't really like that he is gone so much but I deal, and spend time with my parents so I'm not alone all the time... Our marriage has never been perfect, I've always had issues with him being honest, and wanting to spend time with me.. While he is away at work I am lucky to talk to him five minutes the whole time he is gone.. =( Well July 24th I found out he had been having an affair... Through an e.mail I found in his yahoo account that pretty much put things in black and white.. Of coarse at first he denied it and went crazy and destroyed my landscaping, mailbox, etc.. and I had to have him removed by police... Well I filed for divorce but then I decided to give him a chance... and since there really has been no dramatic change... I asked him to remove the internet and text messaging from his phone and I ended up having to do it, I also asked him to set up marriage counseling and I ended up doing that too... I am just very frustrated...because I expected a lot more... and I am worried if this will happen again... I just want some unbiased advice..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): For me, cheating is a major deal-breaker. And it seems like he's made no attempt to even apologize or be a better husband. Plus, it's scary that he got violent enough that you had to call the cops to take him away. I would definitely leave him.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (23 August 2010):
 I would be afraid for you and your unborn child's safety if he went buck wild destroying crap. Talk about a temper. No one's marriage is perfect in fact it takes a lot of work and maintenance to keep it up. The catch to that is that both parties have to hold up their end of the vows. Your husband already broke those for me it's a deal breaker, one time is all it takes. But then again I've heard of couples getting past that, then I've seen others "once a cheater always a cheater". Two things that stood out in your post he's always had trouble being honest and he works out of town often so it's very easy for him to have an affair. It's hard to say if it will happen again but there's a good possibility. Now, if you pulled out every card you have left eliminating texts and internet, and marriage counseling and you see no change in him, not even some remorse...then this one deserves for his ass to be booted to the curb. How dare he when your pregnant with your first child. You and your baby don't need or deserve this emotional distress right now. Think about what's best for you and your pregnancy, I suggest a separation till after the birth. Then see if he's changed his tune or if he's still singing the same song then slap him with the divorce papers. You and your baby deserve better. Congrats by the way!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Being pregnant you don't need to have all this to deal with too. Do you really think he loves you and wants to make this work? It scares me that you had to have him removed by the police. What kind of cheating was it? Was he sleeping with this person? Has he told you he was sorry and would never do it again? I think whether you stay with him or not is dependent on what his motives are. If you think you can trust him and he is trying, then maybe give it a chance. If not, then hopefully your family can be a good support for you. Good luck! PS I know pregnancy can wreak havoc on emotions-being a woman myself- so be careful that you don't divorce him unless you're really sure. Hang in there and hope it works out well for you!
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