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male
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anonymous
writes: Recently I have been attracted to this girl. At first I thought she felt the same. However on one drunken night I let her know how I felt (via text). She replied but her reaction was to pretty much ignore it. Despite this she treats me the same as she did beforehand. Therefore I still, sometimes, think she does like me. I might be completly wrong. I'm confused!
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female
reader, angelicdivauk  +, writes (30 October 2005):
 She most likely thought it was a joke, or clouded judgment over the fact you were drunk, please grow a penis and be a man. TALK TO HER FACE-TO-FACE!!!XXX
A
reader, robinlovescena +, writes (29 October 2005):
 i have to say that this girl probably does like you. However, i think that it is also taking some time to get over the fact that you told her how you feel. Maybe you should try talking to her in person or on the phone. Make sure that you ask her if she understands, and if she make a compromise or something. Well good luck
~Robin~
aka advice gurl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): Someone once told me how he felt in an email, a drunken email, and I was sort of flattered, but also angry. He said in the email he'd seen me on the street, didn't want to say hi, and basically waited until he was drunk and in front of his computer to contact me. It didn't exactly make me feel 'special' - more like I was an after-thought, and like he only thought to contact me when he was intoxicated. If you really like someone, for goodness sake, tell them in person! Any other way is, to be frank, cowardly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2005): You should never have done this by text..next youll be ending relationships this way..if she knows you were drunk maybe she thinks you dont remember sending the msg or you didnt mean to send it and is saving you and her the embarrassment of bringing it up or taking what you said as true..talk to her properly and tell her how you feel face to face this time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2005): Grow some balls and talk to her face to face. Tell her how you feel about her. Be blunt and say you don't want to waste any time with games. And come on- do it without being under the influence.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 October 2005):
 I don't care how many people do it, text is a TERRIBLE way to tell someone you're attracted. It's the last refuge of the chickenhearted. Yes, yes, I know it's incredibly popular with the under-30s and I know I'm daggily out of step with modern dating rituals, but put that aside for now. Honestly... think about a young woman receiving this:
"U R 2hot n i wanna b wif u"
Not exactly the urgent, passionate romantic declarations that young women long to hear whispered into her shell-like ears, is it?
There are two things wrong with admission-by-text (well, three, if you count the fact that you only did it because you were drunk). First, text is unsubtle (read the above - really read it. People send dreck like this, but do they really speak that way to the ones they're attracted to?), and second, you never can be sure that she really read it and understood it. She might have received it - then again, she might not have - but thought you were teasing. Have you considered that she might have been protecting herself from what she assumed was a gag?
If you want to know if this woman really likes you, you're going to have to be more direct about it. TALK to her, engage her in conversation. Find out what makes her tick. Invite her to accompany you to outings you both like. Offer to buy her a cappuccino. Tell her she looks fantastic.
These are the best ways to get to know someone better and to find out if there's a shared attraction. Take the initiative to treat her as a person, and not as a mobile phone number. Don't rely on awkward abbreviations from a tiny keyboard to get her attention. Meet her in person. Do things together and you'll soon be a lot less confused about her feelings.
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