| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi My daughter was dumped 6 weeks ago by her fiance of almost 4 years. He initilly left for a couple of weeks for some space. He was really cruel, built her hopes of reconciliation only to blame her Dad when he wanted a reason. She eventually learnt that he was the subject of police investigations for a sexual offence that occured the week after he left her. He is in loads of debt and she finds it hard not to blame herself because she had refused to take out a £10k loan in her name just weeks before. She is a uni student and struggling to come to terms with it all. Any advice would be gratefully receivedThanx.
View related questions:
debt, fiance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2005): Oh my, does she not fathom how much better off she is without this loser? Why would she feel so much misplaced guilt over not helping him with 'his' debt load? No matter what, she should never feel guilt for not supporting him financially, regardless of how destructive his own bad actions were. If she was always supporting him throughout these bad behaviours, then I must say, he is a abusive controller and she needs some counselling for being an "enabler". I hope he's out of the picture for good-this man would have eventually dragged her down under the rock he crawled from. She needs to learn that a very important part of being kind to herself is learning how to say no, and how to set, and be able to defend her own moral boundaries. He is a very selfish man and her love for him, did not mean that she should continue being a doormat for him. I hope she can move forward from this man and please tell her that before she ever gets into another relationship that love begins with loving herself enough to protect herself from the people she loves, if that ever becomes necessary. I wish her the best of luck. Tell her my heart is with her while she heals from this and please-I pray she finds the strength to cope. She's lucky to have such wonderful parents as yourselves. God bless.
Hugs,
Irish
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2005): How can someone qualify to attend the Universary and be so foolish about her love life? At some point she has to start being responsible. She should shout to the clouds at her good fortune to be rid of this louse! He is the architect of his own misfortune, not her. Tell you daughter to grow up, and face the facts. She fell in love with a jerk, who is mean and cruel and has treated her shabbily. She is very lucky that she in not now responsible for paying back a loan when she has no income to do so. Losing him is the best thing that could have happened. Please, no tears. Learn from her mistakes and try not to be so " nice" in the future.
...............................
|
