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Together for 4 years, this Valentines, he is going to a strip club, should I get over it?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 February 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 February 2009)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend just told me that he's going to a strip club with his friends on February 14th... I had planned to take him out to dinner at his favorite restaurant on that day for Valentines day... Now I know Valentine's Day is just a stupid excuse for forced romance and stuff but I am still hurt that he's choosing to go see strippers instead of spending a romantic day with me. He says he wants to go see them and there's nothing I can do to convince him otherwise. I'm hurt. What do I do?

We've been together for nearly 4 years by the way, this is the first time he's gone out with friends instead of spending Valentines Day with me. Usually we go for dinner.

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A female reader, misfitschik66 Canada +, writes (8 February 2009):

misfitschik66 agony aunthoney all the advice i can give you is say well then im coming too!!! and your not convincing me otherwise

tell him you want to spend the night with him and if that means having to go with the strip club with him so be it.. then he might get it

OR you can say fine ill go out with my `girlfriends` for the night and plan a great awesome night with the girls if they arn`t doing anything if there single or if they are in the same situation you are in

if it bothers him then i guess he should just suck it up i mean he wanted to go to the strip club right

everything will be fine even if you show up at the strip club and say well i wanted to be with you maybe he will get it that way too

good luck sweetheart i hope my advice helped!!!

misfitzchik66

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A female reader, Chasity44 United States +, writes (8 February 2009):

I agree with satindesire all the way she put it very bluntly and I would kick his ass to the curb! Rather valentines day or not he should always want to spend time with you instead of some hoes with god knows how many stds you deserve better!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2009):

Maybe he is just pretending and has actually planned something special?!

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2009):

how rude! does he not realise that it's valentines day!

it's not a stag night is it? i would kick him out and tell him to go with the strippers as it's the only naked woman he will see for a long time.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2009):

If my bloke did that I would change the locks while he was out.

How DARE he just announce that he is off to look at other naked girls. The fact that he doesn't seem to care that you would be hurt by this tells me how little he cares about you.

Tell him if he goes, then you won't be there when he comes back. Put the bolt on the door behind him and cut contact. You deserve more than this in life.

4 years is a good run so don't wait for it to get any worse than this. Walk away with your head held high.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, lovelynightmare United States +, writes (7 February 2009):

lovelynightmare agony auntMany times I hear girls and girlfriends giving excuses like "oh, they're just guys" when things like porn and strip clubs come up, but that's why they're just GUYS and not MEN.

As his one and only, you should let him know that you won't approve, and let him know there are other non-romantic activities if he's really feeling the V-day crunch.

Or even better, if you can woo him, book him for something other than dinner, or more than dinner. Try to be creative.

lovelynightmare

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