A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was neglected during my primary schooling by my teachers, classmates and parents. the same thing happened in high school except that physical and verbal bullying were added. I told about what was happening in primary school and the teacher took offense to that and took it out on me by humiliating me in class after that I knew that I had no where to turn. My parents didn't care about how I was feeling I used to cry to them but they only ever told me to ignore them and concentrate on my schooling because they were paying a lot of money for it. I did not do my final year of primary school because it had become to much and started high school a year early. I was excited thinking that it was a new environment and new people who will treat me better. I was quickly isolated on my first day and it stayed that way and because I was small I became an easy target for abuse. I was suicidal in primary school and in high school i became disillusioned and developed a deep dislike for people and more for myself. I don't know how I can be proud of who I am or how to love myself after everything that has happened. Where and how do I start forgiving the people that wronged me and myself for being too weak to stop it. My school work has suffered because of it and i would like to turn things around before it is too late.
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female
reader, Staceily  +, writes (8 November 2012):
 The only way to forgive and forget a bad past is to be happy in the present. I'm not trying to sound like an after school special, it is simply the truth. When you are happy you don't focus on the past and bad things from the past. I wouldn't say you need to forgive anyone, just forget them. Now if your question is how do you become happy, you find things that make you happy. You discover yourself, your loves- be it video games or comic books (I'm a huge gamer and nerd) or whatever your interests are and immerse yourself in them. Meet like minded people, make friends. I hate parties and clubs as well, I just found things that made me happy and people who have the same interests. Not all people in college are only into drinking. An idea is to check out the site called meet up. http://www.meetup.com. You can type in your interest, ie board games, and there will be a group dedicated to them. It's a great way to meet like minded people.
I wasn't popular in high school, I wasn't bullied to the point of having a documentary about my torture or anything but I did have a few people that stand out in my memory as being cruel to me. I don't say I forgive them because I don't care about them. They were mean but guess what, karma is a bitch and I'm positive life for them isn't so great now. I learned to like myself, and I realized that what they did had no bearing on me whatsoever, it was them needing to feel popular and needing to be liked. Your situation is the same. Don't feel like you were weak or hate yourself for it happening because it isn't your fault. A kid without any adult support cannot protect themselves. Don't focus on the past anymore, accept that it happened, you can't change it and it made you in part who you are today. Now find people who make you happy NOW so you won't focus so much on the past. You have a lot to be proud of, making it to college and a degree in accounting. You will be successful one day. High school is just a small part of life that is over now and those people mean nothing anymore. If nothing does make you feel better I suggest seeing a therapist outside of school. There are tons of counselors out there and school is not your only option.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think therapy is an option because the only place i can go is the psychology clinic at the university but they have a habit of telling their friends and family what people tell them and there are only 2M people in the entire country, everybody knows everybody and i don't want my issues out on the streets.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am in college and i am doing a degree in accountancy. I can't connect with people because i don't drink or go out to parties and clubs and this makes me a boring guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): Even though you're struggling, you have something very important going for you. You are good at communicating.
I was bullied as a kid, but I eventually found "my people" online. What are you good at? What do you like to do? The world is a big place, but the Internet makes it very small. Use Google to figure out where people who do the things you like to do go to talk to each other. From there you can find out where they meet (if they do).
Rise above it all. Turns out there is a big blue sky once you break through the clouds.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (8 November 2012):
What do you want to do with your life?
The only person I know who has seemingly overcome (at least outwardly) the effects of years of bullying decided to focus his intelligence and dedicate himself to his studies with the sole goal of leaving college with a bachelor, master, an doctoral degree in a difficult science field before his 10 yer high school reunion.
He almost has his doctorate and no longer has any intention of attending his high school reunion. He wanted to basically rub it in their faces, but he met good people and made friends (intelligent people) in college and over time stopped focusing on doing things to show off to people who hurt him in the past. He's learned to do things because they are what he wants and no bully can ever take away his sense of accomplishment from doing his best academically.
Attend college/university. You will meet like-minded people and open minded people who will accept you whether you've been bullied or not.
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