A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There was someone in my life who I am better off moving on from, but I cannot seem to get her out of my head. Additionally, I feel like cutting off contact with her may have hurt her because she has self-proclaimed abandonment issues.I was obsessed with her, thinking of her daily, and the emotional pain of not having her romantically (just having her as a good friend) was really putting me in a bad place. I told her my feelings, which I believe were not reciprocated, then I drifted away over a few weeks.Should I contact her to tell her it wasn't her fault I disappeared and that I have problems? Would that give her closure? Or should I just keep away? For ME I think it's best to keep away. I don't know what's best for her though.To me, it seems really selfish of me to have slowly stopped contacting her like that. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 It's very nice of you having this kind of scruples, but I think we can assume it's not necessary. She is probably not hurt, or coping well with the disappointment.
You drifted away... and she left you drift away without putting up any resistence. That's relevant.
Women are like bulldogs ,they don't let go unless they want to- especially those with abandonment issues. If she had had a big problem with you drifting away, you would surely have known. She would have called texted emailed facebooked came over - anything to keep you around. She did not, and I think this means she can handle your drifting away.
|
