A
female
age
,
*cgraw62
writes:Hi, I have been engaged to a man since February 2008, since his recent divorce and all that helped I have seen a lot of chances in him for the worst, he tells me that he loves me and wants to marry me but we are so strapped for money right now its hard, but I think if he really wanted to he would find a way to come up with the 93.00 application fee, he has things he can sell to get our marriage licenses but his excuse was that these are things he wants to leave to his children, and it really hurts me that he doesn't want to give up on one thing for us to be husband and wife, one day I am his everything he can't live without me and the next he is like jeykell and hyde. I know he has been under a lot of stress because of this divorce but we were supposed to be married in November 2008 now it's by valentines day so what do I do if he comes up with something again on valentines times day? I love him with all my heart and he says he loves me but actions speak for themselves. I would apprciatie any advice.. thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): I was just wondering if this relationship started as an affair while he was still married and living with his spouse. If not, great, if so it really has less than a 1% chance of lasting more than a year after the wedding....statistics show this in psychological studies....I guess there are always exceptions, but relationships that start in infidelity are doomed because there is a lack of trust and for good reason, if he cheated on her with you, then both of you compromised the trust of each other and his partner, which indicates that in both your character.
But I digress, I think you are acting a bit immaturely for your age. He is under a lot of stress getting a divorce it is right up there at the top of the list, instead of pressuring him into a marriage and hagling over the price, ask yourself instead what you are doing to support him emotionally at this time, and ask yourself if this is the right time to make your relationship a legal one.....it is a whole lot easier to get married for the right reasons and at the right time, then it is to get a second divorce.
Back off and give it time.....he also doesn't have any money, why do you want to joing your finances and credit together where you are going to be responsible for his debt once you are married....get your house in order, both of you.
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