A
female
age
30-35,
*heerwhore23
writes:Im a huge mess right now so please I just need some helpful advice...I feel overwhelmed with everything going on right now..I'm literally busy 24-7 to keep my parents satisfied..I get strait a's I take college classes don't party or do anything bad. I do it all for them an they don't appreciate it. I mean they can't have a Better kid! I do everything they ask for and they just keep asking for more.. All while giving my brother all the attention in the world.. A new truck, money, laptop, everything! We're the same age and I feel like I'm on my own while he gets everything handed to him...it's like everything I do for me( competitive hip hop and my dream job at abercrombie) they bitch about it till I quit...and those are the only things that actually make me happy! I feel like I deserve something for all of my hard work.. Not many kids do what I do! An it might seem like the perfect life but I'm dying inside.. And all of this stress is making me turn to sex and drinking and drugs and even eating problems.. My parents make me feel unloved so I go and have sex to fill the emptiness..I drink away my problems and I don't eat because I feel the need to stay small so I'm the perfect little cheerleader track runner for my parents..I'm worn out and the sad part is no one seems to notice at all..To everyone I'm the stuck up pretty girl with a perfect life handed to her on a platter but on the inside I'm a mess and I'm scared it will get worse.. Please help me
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female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (20 April 2011):
 I wish I could say that it will pass, but if you've got issues with yourself now, they will only get worse unless you seek help. I was literally the perfect child growing up: straight A's, didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't have sex until age 20, etc. But all the while, I suffered inside from horrible self-esteem issues. My parents were and still are wonderful people. They gave me all the support and love I could've asked for, but I became very empty inside...Everyone around me: my friends, acquaintances, strangers, they all wanted something from me that I didn't have or wasn't willing to give. I was pressured to drink, do drugs, and have sex, and when I didn't, I was tormented and banned as an outcast. My first eating disorder began at the age of 15, and is now still continuing at age 22. My need to be "perfect" for everyone but myself consumed me. I fell into a deep depression that followed me for years and that I'm still struggling with. I'm now engaged, healthier, and I'm in a much better place, but I still suffer from self-esteem and depression issues. I'm now going for the help that I should have sought out and stuck with years ago, and that my parents tried to get for me.Please take my advice and know that what you do now for yourself will follow you, maybe for the rest of your life. Promiscuous sex could lead to an STD that is untreatable and could stop you from having children one day. Taking drugs and binge drinking could lead to one forgotten night that could ruin your reputation or scar you mentally and emotionally if one day remembered. It's not worth it.Please think of yourself and do what you feel is right for YOU and no one else. No one else will be there at the end of the day except you. No one else will live your life ten years from now except you. No one else will walk the road you pave for yourself except for you. Talk to your parents. Hell, talk to your brother. Tell them how you feel. Show them this post. But please do not punish yourself when you've done nothing wrong. Feeling sorry for yourself won't accomplish anything, either. Believe me. Talking things out and getting help when you know you need it is the greatest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve the best. Good luck.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Hun, I have daughters your age, and having them feel like you do would kill me.
You say your brother is the same age – does that mean this is a blended family? In other words, do you and your brother have the same parents? Or is he your step-brother?
Kiddo, you feeling the way that you do, and you dealing with it the way you are, is just wrong. You deserve better. You deserve support, help, guidance and love. You are a good person, and what you describe is a good person being terribly let down by her parents. So your parents need a very sharp wake-up call.
Do you have one parent you can talk to? If not, is there a responsible adult in your life that you can talk to: an aunt, uncle, grandparent? If not, is there a school counsellor or clergy person you could approach? Because you need help, which you have acknowledged by posting this. You need someone on your side to give your parents a swift kick. If none of the above possibilities are there, then try Kids Help Phone: http://org.kidshelpphone.ca/en/contact/
Don’t worry that it’s a Canadian address --- they can help people in the U.S. too.
Please, please reach out to someone in the real world for help. You know things aren’t right, and bless you for realizing it. You’ve taken one step by reaching out to internet strangers. Now take the next one by reaching out to people who can work with you to make this better.
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A
female
reader, Lizziebadazz +, writes (20 April 2011):
Hey girl. I was always the fat kid who was liked, but not in the way IO wanted to be liked. I wanted to be the pretty girl and even though I've been outta high school for a few years now, it still amazes me when I hear pretty girls like you say that your lives aren't perfect, and maybe thats the problem. Too many people have that concept in their minds. Like the guy said before, life is hard as a teen. But I'm here to tell you now, that it doesn't get any easier. Sure as an adult you have the freedom to do what makes you happy, but you still have to work hard to achieve things. One thing that I hope you will do is stop sleeping around. (OK, its real talk time)When I was a teen, I was a slut to the point that I've had at least 4 different stds and believe me its not fun. Being a very smart individual, I know that you ARE using protection, but trust me, you don't want to get that kind of reputation on top of all your other issues. As far as the parents go, all I can say is talk to them and to be real, even that may not help cause sometimes they just don't get it and they never will. But instead of working hard for them with school and everything else, do it for you. Reach your full potential cause I promise you it will take u places in the future.Being a teen WILL NOT last forever. Hang in there and NEVER,NEVER give up on yourself. You're beautiful inside and out and I promise you, no matter how crummy you think your life is, theres always someone who is worse. Keep your head up!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2011): Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I know it is very, VERY difficult, but the only way you can avoid this getting worse and worse (and harder and harder to recover from), is to get some help from a professional, not the school counselor (unless she's really good!), but someone who specializes in this type of thing.
If at all possible, tell your parents what's happening to you. Tell them everything. That will shake them out of their blind stupor to see they're losing their beautiful daughter. I know that probably sounds impossible, but you CAN do it! And you're worth it. Don't give up. You can do this!
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