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Tired of being single but not having any luck attracting someone

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 December 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I realise a lot of this will probably sound completely ridiculous, but it's taken a lot for me to post my numerous issues somewhere to get an outside opinion, so please bear with me :')

Basically, I'm sixteen, and I've been single for around a year and a half.

I know there must be loads of people out there who are my age/ older who have never had a boyfriend/ kissed anyone, and I also know that "I'm only sixteen, I have my whole life ahead of me, I'm still young, ect, ect."- I am aware of this, but it doesn't really change the feeling.

I'll start with that last relationship- I was with the guy for about 4-5 months, and true, it's hardly enough time to develop a serious, loving, relationship, but considering he was the first person to accept me for who I was, (who I am, being average-looking, 6 foot, UK size 16, with a skin condition,) I was over the moon and became really attatched to him.

However, this really amazing feeling became short-lived when I discovered he'd cheated on me with my best friend who he then proceeded to go out with after a very messy break-up.

I felt ready to move on six months or so after this happened- and from then up until now, I have had absoloutely nothing, and there are times when I get quite depressive and tend to mope around a fair bit. It's not because I feel like I can't live without being in a relationship; I have a strong passion for art, have a good family and quite a lot of close friends (though all of which are in relationships), but I miss the feeling of being with someone, sharing time and memories with them and feeling accepted/ wanted like I was with that guy I was talking about.

And seeing everyone else have this as the time goes on doesn't half make you feel on the crap side.

I've tried hard to try and change things for myself- this year I've dyed my hair, tried to lose weight, had my ears done, had my skin cleared, gone out more, met new people, made attempts at letting go of that one relationship which caused a lot of trouble for me- all the things that my friends have suggested doing.

Many people have told me to just wait it out, but that unfortunately (although it's probably the most logical advice) just adds to the list of things that make me feel genuinely awful.

Nothing seems to work, I just can't seem to find anyone.

So now, I just feel I'm not good enough for anyone, and that I'll never re-live the happiness I felt over a year ago- and it drags me down a lot.

Has anyone got any extra advice on what I could do to meet someone special again? Would be much appreciated, thanks in advance. :)

View related questions: best friend, cheated on me, lose weight, move on, never had a boyfriend

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A female reader, loveistheanswer United States +, writes (6 December 2010):

loveistheanswer agony auntWork on yourself, keep improving yourself, and you will begin to radiate the self-confidence that will attract someone to you like bee to honey... don't give up looking for someone if that's what you feel you really need, but don't give it all your attention, spend your time doing what you love and what interests you, and then you radiate the love and passion that makes anyone attractive to another person...

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