A
male
age
30-35,
*megahero09
writes:So question-When my girlfriend is stressed out, she usually gets pretty cranky. It's really difficult to talk to her, and the usual consolation to typical complaints (I've been working forever, or I'm gonna fail these tests) don't work. Not quite sure how to handle it totally yet. Tips on stressed out girlfriend? I really want to be the best for her, and I don't want her to push me away because I can't handle her when she's stressed or something like that. Your help would be greatly appreciated, thanks! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Omegahero09 +, writes (20 October 2009):
Omegahero09 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ugh so apparently, she has pushed herself back to the point where she hardly feels anything for me because of the way I treated her.
Tips on how to work with this? Anything I shouldn't do or say?
A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (19 October 2009):
 The next time she comes home and she seems stressed out (you know what the signs probably are) just say, "I'm gonna give you some space without me bugging you, if you want to talk I'll be in the living room (or other room) otherwise I'm going to let you process your day and change gears." Then go into the other room, and start reading, or watching TV or researching something on the web. Hopefully this will help her realize without being pressured, that she can unwind however she wants and the result will be a much happier gal.
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A
male
reader, Omegahero09 +, writes (18 October 2009):
Omegahero09 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much ^^ now it's after the fact, and as it turns out, I'm just now looking at your advice and realising I did it all wrong. She has pushed herself away a little because I was a bit... too needy. Or at least, gave off that vibe.
I know what I need to do now next time she's stressed because I've learned from my mistakes, and you guys too. But what's the best way to communicate this to her without deflating her more?
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (16 October 2009):
Give her some space when she's acting stressed out. Tell herthat you're there when/if she wants to talk, and then remove yourself for awhile. Let her work through her problems on her own; she might want to work out to burn off her stress, or she may want to listen to music, take a bubble bath, play a video game, just something to readjust her attitude. You can't really "fix" anyone when they're stressed because you just become the target for their angst. When she's calmed down, she'll be more rational and then she'll accept or even want your help.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 October 2009):
What I've found about women it this. Women really like to talk things through. Consoloation actually doesn't work all that much. Almost never, in fact. So when she comes to you, sit her down and ask her why she feels that way. And just listen, don't say anything, just listen to her. At the end of it, ask her if there is anything that you can do for her. Also, run her a bath with candles and such. Actions speak louder than words. Don't tell her she's loved. Show her she's loved.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2009): Treat her to a session of Acupuncture for stress. Its amazing!
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