A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. So i need advice for someone that is quite shy and finds it hard to socialize. I'm 17 and my friend is having a get together before she goes to university were only going for a meal and then to a pub but i'll only know like 5 people and i find it difficult starting conversations with people i don't know. Any advice please?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 September 2012):
 I know that it can be difficult when you are shy and you just do not know what to say to people. But it really is simple and nothing to worry about, I think the more you worry the more difficult it is because you over think everything and get in a panic resulting in not talking at all just looking around the place and feeling awkward.
Put it like this, how would you go around having a conversation with your friend? You need to remember that at one point you both never knew each other and now look you are friends, so it must have built from something. Just be friendly that is the key. Smile and say hello, introduce yourself, ask them what they do for a living or how they know your friend. If a conversation is flowing give your opinion on the topic. Comment on the food how nice it is ect. Just casual conversation and remember eye contact and smiling is very important it shows that you are a warm person and that you are taking them serious, being a good listener always helps as well, and hey who knows you might actually make new friends by the end of it.
A
female
reader, chaijam  +, writes (1 September 2012):
I used to be very similar to you but now I will basically talk to anyone. For me, it was all about practice really. Experiment with conversation topics and get to know people!The most useful (and a little funny) thing I remember is that people LOVE to talk about themselves. Ask things like:"what do you do with yourself?" "what are the teachers like there?" "how did you find that?""have you always lived here?""do you have similar university plans as my friend?""how do you know my friend?"If someone asks you a question, it's always polite to ask them the same or similar question in return.Open questions that don't just have a basic 'yes' or 'no' answer can get people talking for ages. When you speak to people, be genuinely interested in what they're saying and respond to it. I believe the worst thing you can do after someone responds to your question is to not reply at all (unless you're eating), because it can be quite difficult to start again after that.If the people you talk to are friendly people themselves, they will show just as much of an interest in you as you do in them. An important thing to remember is that not everyone is friendly. I've spent evenings talking to people where it has just been me asking questions and the person going on and on about themselves. As boring as this can be, it's better than sitting by yourself in a corner! If you're interested in finding new friends, my first hint to whether someone will be a good friend or not is if they ask questions about me as well as me asking them of them.I hope this helps!Relax and have fun :)J
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