A
female
age
36-40,
*n sure
writes:my partner and i have been haing a little bit of a ruff patch lately... money problems and him not enjoying his work... we have been snappy at each other and i'm starting to get worried... the night before my son got scissors and cut a cord which cost us alot of money yesterday when i had to go into town and replace these items but i had been very bitch because of all the stress... yesterday my partner was fine untill last night... we decided to come out to my parents to visit and stay because of my brother visiting and they both had a few drinks... he started being really ignorant to me and just pushing me away... then last night i found some msgs on facebook book to 2 different women he use to date and they were chatting about sex and rating how they use to be out of 10... he told her back then she was a 9... and she said well i'm better now let catch up and see... he told her if she behaved he'd see... the other one he was talking to... she asked what happened between them and he said she dumped him and devostated him... and they where talking about how awesome they think each of them was... and now she wants to catch up *wink or old times sake... he said its a date.... i'm not sure what to do... i don't want to be caused for snooping because thats what i've done... and should i be worried?? he has 3 kids and its fathersday 2morrow... he hasn't seen them in atleast 6 months and i don't know if it caused from being upset about that(because i know he is) and also the drinking... pls help... i don't know what to do... we are ment to be getting married in october next yr... i love him so much and don't want him to cheat and i don't want to lose him... he is pulling away and flirting with ex's... how do i stop it??
View related questions:
facebook, flirt, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): own up to your snooping and apologize for that but then confront him with what you found out. Tell him that if he doesn't stop this you will leave him.
And then you're going to have to be prepared to leave him if he doesn't change because there's an equal chance he won't change, in which case there is nothing you can do to make him, all you can do is protect yourself by acknowledging the relationship is not meant to be and move on. too many people waste years or decades of their life waiting around for their partners to quit their hurtful behavior. but continuing to stick around when your partner is still doing hurtful things, shows them that they can continue doing it since you're still there tolerating it no matter how much you may complain. if something really is intolerable to you, you have to show it by leaving for good if it continues. if you need to end this relationship and move on, better to do it sooner rather than let it drag out indefinitely.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2012): Well this just throws a whole new ingredient into the mix now doesn't it.
I think you ought to tell him you've found out about his little secrets, he may probably get up and walk and say you're out of order for snooping, but from the looks of it he was planning to do that anyway.
Doesn't sound like he wants to sort these issues out with you, but rather he'd run off instead. That says a lot about his commitment or lack of towards you.
And this is the guy you plan to marry?
He's not husband material.
...............................
|
