A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my husband since I was 19 and he was 35.Now I'm 24 and he is 40.He did not show his temper until after I got pregnant with our son.His anger problem is getting worst.Not just that,he is cold with me.I thought we were doing okay and one day he started treating me meaner than ever.He doesn't talk to me.I layed in bed naked next to him the other night and he didn't even notice or just doesn't want me anymore.I dont want to wait until I hate him,but if I leave loving him I'm afraid that he'll convince me to come back like he has in the past.I was able to log into his email and I was many different dating sites that he's been saving- all through out our relationship.He also saves facebook or myspace profile links or women he finds attractive.I told him that it seems suspicious that all the time we've been together, he's never stoped looking.I don't feel he loves me anymore.But I bet that if he sees or clothes are packed and ready to go he'll tell me like he always tells me that I am 'the love of his life.'Well I sure dont feel like the love of his life.Is he cheating? How can I know?
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female
reader, SillyB +, writes (6 November 2010):
 surround yourself with good family and friends. You need more support now than ever. I think what he has done is beyond horrible - he's verbally abusive, distant, unaffectionate. Its all abusive.God, at 24 you have your whole life ahead of you. He obviously has a problem if he has a 24 young beautiful wife and can't seem to leave the dating websites behind him.I think you deserve better and should leave. He'll only make you a bitter and hurt woman as you grow older. There is so much more love out there.REad "why men marry bitches" and "he's just not that into you". These books are easy fun reads, and although geared more towards single girls, they'll provide you with good scenarious on how a man who truly is interested in you should/will treat you.I hope you walk away. DON't make any more babies!!! It'll be harder to leave if you have more kids. Also, get yourself educated and independent with your own money/career.Best of luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Right with xanthic on this. On my note, Im sorry about this.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (6 November 2010):
 That's a really big red flag, he's either already cheating or is about to. Why else would he be registered on those sites? It's completely different from something like watching porn, he's actively searching for and most likely contacting other women.
The other things you described can also be a sign of cheating, especially if he became distant very suddenly. You need to discuss this with him seriously before making a decision. If he's still apathetic about it and how it affects you, it's time to leave. Not only for your sake, but also your child's sake.
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