A
male
age
51-59,
*eed help 2day
writes:Is the writing on the wall? Is it time to call it over?My girlfriend and i had a problem on haloween which left me hurting bad. I told her the following day that i needed to talk to her about it as it would fester inside me if i didn't discuss it. She said that she would make time to talk without her daughter (11yrs) being there. In 12 days she has not made a space for us. Her daughter does activities for 2 hrs Monday nights and 2 hrs Wednesday night, but still she hasn't made time for us. The event has left me heartbroken and i can't sleep or eat. I have lost 1/2 a stone in weight in the 12 days and at 10st i can't afford to loose any more without looking really ill. I feel that my love is fading as i can't love someone that can be so cold hearted as to not want to discuss what is destroying me. She is so hard faced with it as each time i turn up, she just ignores how ill i look and how low i am and carries on with an attitude that everything is normal. I want to give an ultimatum that we talk or i leave, but also i feel that if i have to go as far as an ultimatum then its time to leave anyway. please help. thanking you all in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): without knowing what happened on halloween it is hard to say what can help sort this problem out. she may be feeling guilty and may just want to move on and forget about it, that may just be her way of coping. she may have been really upset by the even and may want to leave it so that she does not get hurt again.
the fact that this is making you so ill is really worrying. you need to ask yourself if the situation is really worth worrying about this much.
you can try writing her a letter telling her your feelings or talk to someone else about your feelings (dont gossip just 'confess' if you like as you would to a priest)
you could also just try and forget it yourself, take her out for a really lovely and romantic meal... recreate your first date send her a beautiful bunch of flowers with a little card saying 'i love you' or 'yours forever' or something.
your health... im no doctor and wouldn't like to say what you should do to help yourself but (as girly as it sounds) a hot soak in the bath and a read of a good book before bed should help send you off to sleep. ( having a hot water bottle or lavender bag works best for me ) your weight, well i had anorexia for 10 years and can feel your pain, but honestly without the proper fuel you wont be able to function properly and will only make the situation worse. you are in quite a rut my friend.
i tell you what you could introduce into your diet are a good bunch of super foods and oranges are good for vits c and d which will give you a nice life. even a simple thing like a good daily skin care routine will make you feel fresher and more motivated for the day. if your partner see's you making a change for the better then she may want to get closer.... seeing you this way can only be scaring her off, especially if she thinks it is her that is making you feel so ill.
i really wish you all the best and hope that my 'essay!' has helped!
take care
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