A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, this is affecting my life significantly in area of human interractions, so I was hoping I could get your advice and maybe find out I'm not alone. For a while now, I don't remember when exactly it started but definitely for years, I feel like days in my life are going by pretty slow. It's definitely not that I'm bored, I usually do a lot of different stuff over the course of one day, and at the end of it I feel like "this morning" was a while ago, and "2-3 days ago" seem to me like a small eternity has passed in between.It may sound funny and not like a problem, but here's how it's affecting me. When I don't get in touch with someone important to me for a while, I get kind of anxious about it, like is everything ok, or simply start missing the person. Considering the way I percieve time, if I don't see someone I care about for just 2 days I feel like it's been a while and feel the need to get in touch. It's actually makimg me feel pretty crappy about my relationships with people at times.I'm wondering has anyone had a similar experience, or do you percieve time the way I do. Do you feel like 2 days is a long time in your life? Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 May 2015):
 In part this feeling is very much age related , and it tends to fade and go towards the opposite rhe more you go on.
Do you remember that the two or 3 measly months of vacations during primary school seemed a long time at the end of which your world was all new and different ?...
Then , try ro be 30 and have a demanding , steessful job and see if two months are THAT long.
I sort of felt like you at your age, but I guess for most people it is the same. I would call a 3 months fling " an LTR relationship " and in college at 20 I would talk of when I was 17 and in high school as if it had been another geological era rather than few years back.
I don't want to sadden anybody, but... I think it has to do with the perception of our own mortality, and the grasp of the concept that our time here is limited.
This is something that we aknowledge intellectually- but we never really believe it and feel it before a certain age and stage.
I remember that when I was 25 I basically thought, deep down, that I was immortal. Like, I knew that people die, but ... me ? Aw come on. Not for a long long looong time. So long, that it does not even feel real. Like now ,when they tell you that in ten bilions years or so ,this galaxy is going to explode and be canceled ? Yes true, but- it does not concern me.
Then, at a certain point, subliminally it creeps on you - that your days on this planets are limited. And even if you are the cheerful lively type that's not prone to morbid thoughts, - once you , at some level, "get it", that changes totally your perception of time and makes it go much faster.
I am not the morbid type at all, and still- now that, at some level I KNOW- although the concept of MY physical extinction is still somewhat hard to grasp - time has accelerated , and goes faster and faster. Days and weeks and months fly, and the opposite happens - I realize with shock that the friend I " just " saw- well, it was 3 years ago when I saw her. I have " just " been to London- but that was 5 years ago. It really seems yesterday that I was taking my kid to boyscouts meeting- and now he has his own place and lives alone.
That's a general thing, that times go slower the younger you are, but in your case is compounded by your having an anxious attachment mode - as opposed to a secure one. Which does not necessarily mean that you have been neglected or unloved as a child , or that you had a bad mom ( in fact, I am a little tired of when everything ... must always' mom's fault !). You might have had perfect upbringing and perfect care, but maybe circumstances in your envirinment, like having to change home address often, or change schools often, or the death of a beloved grandparent oet a pet etc. etc. - did not let you feel secure that what you love and need will be back to you, and that you can count on it also when it's not physically under your eyes- and that makes you anxious and insecure because you never really BELIEVE they WILL be back in your life.
A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (17 May 2015):
 Many people percieve this time contraction and once, while discussing this, a possible explanation popped in my head and goes something like this:
The younger you are the more will each 24 hours in a day comprise as part of your total life. So if you are 10 years old, the fraction of the day is 24/10. But if you are 50 years old the fraction is 24/50. The fraction 24/10 is clearly bigger hence the perception that days when you are young feel longer.
Do I think this is the truth? IDK but seems most plausible explanation in terms of numbers.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2015): It's interesting that you mention that. I used to feel like that as a child. That everything was sooooo sloooow.
Now,as an adult, I feel that everything is too quick! I turn around and months have passed without much of my life changing!
I think in your case, it's a bit of insecurity creeping in. You need affirmation from others- to see them etc. Try to be happy with yourself, without needing other's approval-i.e a nice walk on the beach/in the countryside by yourself, a bike ride, a bath with a good book.
Then the happier you start to feel with yourself, the less you'll "need" to see/hear from people all the time?
...............................
A
female
reader, k.b.williams  +, writes (17 May 2015):
I'm reading this and thinking wow I know where you're coming from. I live with my mum and find myself saying 'this day has felt literally like a week'.I'm also one to keep myself busy, on reflection I feel the more I do in one day the longer it drags.In regards to the reltionsips I completely understand where you are coming from, I constantly feel anxious when I haven't seen my best friend or partner for a few days thinking 'I wonder if everything is ok?' 'Are they mad at me'. I'm a bit of a born worrier and overthink many things but sometimes it's just your nature so you learn to accept and move on. Maybe once you do this things become easier and time a less conscious element. I don't quite know why we feel this way but maybe try to switch of from the element of time and just enjoy your days.My advice is not the best, but I just want you to know that you are not alone!
...............................
|
