A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I’m 15, never dated and never kissed and really f**ked over. There’s this boy. Let’s call him x. I’ve been inappropriately close to him 3 times in the past year. We became tight over internet chat over the July holidays. He always made me laugh and feel wanted which helped get me out of depression at that time. That’s why I can never stay angry at him now. We flirted and dirty talked all the time. I guess I thought he liked me but 3 days into the beginning of term I found out he was dating. Cut. He continued to heavily flirt though and to me, he was my “happy drug” and I really didn’t want things to change so I continued flirting too. He asked me out a few times but we never did. Around September, he started being vague for no reason and then we stopped talking all together. In February, we started regularly talking again (never dirty talk this time). He’d text me good morning and goodnight and sweet things at 3am. In the morning he’d come to my stop to catch the bus with me. Before I could define what was right and wrong, he started offering to walk me home and then he was coming over twice a week after school and we’d cuddle and tickle and talk in my bed. It was all very confusing and hurtful though because at school he completely belonged to his girlfriend and it killed me to see them being intimate. In March, the frustration was distracting me from everything else in my life so I confronted him. He admitted he liked me but nothing changed! People at school started to see the connection and hated me. I ended everything inappropriate so I’d have the holidays to get over it. Not saying I did. We finally went out though. It wasn’t a date but he offered to pay and everything. I still liked him when June rolled around. I had a meltdown at home and x was conveniently there to cheer me up. He told me that his relationship with his gf has been shit for 2 months and that his gf is always talking about me and trying to get him to walk her home and things like that. He said that he doesn’t want to be intimate with her at school but she’s clingy (that was pretty obvious). And so ... we became close again. One day he came over and we spent the whole time cuddled in my bed. He kept on trying to hold my hand and then he fell asleep holding me. It was the sweetest thing ever~~~ Right then, I felt like I could tell him anything~ A few days later he broke up with his girlfriend by text which is completely pathetic. Having been the other woman for so long, I thought he was undateable. He could cheat on me like he did with his ex. He brought up his formal twice which I suppose hinted he might ask me. He took me out again but something had changed and it didn’t seem like he liked me as much. Each time I asked him how he was, he avoided an answer. I was really worried. Term started again quite normally but soon he was avoiding me and everything went down from there. No reason, no nothing. I’ve tried asking.Now, there’s another boy. Let’s call him y. He likes me and said he’ll wait for me even if I date x for a year. He’s really nice but sad thing is I’m attracted to him in no way. I rejected him 2 days ago. It’s September and I’m still not over x. I’m very emotionally unstable. Time is not healing me at all. I know I’ll find someone else soon but I find most of the guys at my school undateable. Sometimes I feel I could be happy without him in my life but sometimes I cry myself to sleep. It’s constant up and downs. Being a grade above me, he’s really focused on studies so when I get bad marks, I feel that regardless of if wanted to date him or not, I don’t deserve him anyway. It really sucks that this fucking mess is my first encounter of something close to a bf. I can’t stop myself from trying to read in between the lines. It hurts so much that he isn’t trying to save our friendship.
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female
reader, CandyCurves  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Omg you are just like me!
No joke, I am actually in the same situation as you .My guy promised to to leave "her" too . He did, but we just never happened.So I am just as confused as you!
I am 15 just like you and I'm not that experienced with boys either, but at the moment I'm focusing on my grades (like crazy!) and that's keeping me distracted at the moment.
Even though not a day goes by when I don't think of him, I try use my head and not my heart to think.I Think in the long run -boys come and go but my grades determine my life.
Of course you and I are still going to have intense feelings but there isn't much we can do at the moment.
Since its these guys that are steering the direction of our relationships (I wonder if they know they're driving us CRAZY!)
I agree with 333, we spent our first intimate moments with a**holes! But focus on yourself and the right guy will come when the time is right. Thats what I believe , but I am still pretty confused too,
I hope the little knowledge I dug out of me helped, lol.
Best of luck
-CC
P.S Feel free to PM about anything:)
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Dont talk to x at all. hes your obstacle. now when you see a d*** is the thing in the way of happiness, your happiness, then try so hard to get away. You dont talk to x, forget him(easier said than done), go out with friends, focus on you, improving you. Take an aspect of yourself and change it to get your mind off him. I did this, with my hair, make up, clothes and fitness, and i feel great. I had what you have named as "y", i liked my ex, and he said he was going to wait for me, now, ive been with him for 8 months yesterday :) Dont think of boys, cause they will pop up when you least expect it. Just be nice to "y", dont take him for granted. he will be feeling hurt at the fact he cant have you, but wont show or ever tell you. Just make sure you know what your doing.
If you wana ask more or whatever just mail me :) I know what your going through :)
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A
female
reader, 333  +, writes (10 September 2010):
First of all, I'm sorry. I turned 17 last month and have had my fair share of 'a**holes". Guys are hard to understand. My ex was a total prick after we broke up and yet i'm not over him (we broke up in July). I know how you feel though. Because I went through something similar. it took me almost a year to get over that person. But listen, you have no pressure. You're 15, I had my first real boyfriend when I was 16. You're still young and have a lot to learn. I know its hard to forget this guy but you have to cut all connections with him, otherwise you won't get over him. Its working for me. If I can do it, so can you!!
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