A
female
age
51-59,
*ellybeaner
writes:hello all! so ive decided to throw in the towel with this guy finally.I have had it with the mixed feelings thing.So my question is do you think it would be to stupid or childish if i wrote him a letter explaining why im doing what im doing ? when i talk to him my mind goes blank and i cant seem to think straight and i just want him to know how i feel, how he has made me feel, and what i think about the way this all played out.my sis says not to cause she thinks that ive explained enough to him how i feel and that i would look like an idiot if i did that.please get back with me and tell me what i should do i value everyones opinion thanks.xoxo to all :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 January 2010):
 ~CONGRATULATIONS!~
A
female
reader, jellybeaner +, writes (4 January 2010):
jellybeaner is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello all i have no questions only thanks for everyones advise.It has been at least a yr since my last question and am happy to say I dumped that dork who was giving me the run around.It was pretty easy since I got laid off from my job not long after I posted my last question. I seen his true side.Anyways i'm happy to say I have been in a relationship with a great guy for almost a year.We have known each other for bout 14 yrs and what do you know he was right under my nose the whole time.We are expecting a baby in april oops birth control gone bad, but I am very happy with my choices and him.He really makes me feel special and actually loves me for me and I see that in his eyes everytime he looks at me.I truely believe that good things come to those who wait and I have waited many yrs for him.My children adore him and his kids feel the same for me we have quite a crew 3boys 1 girl and thank god this baby is a girl.Anyways I just wanted to thank you all from my heart for the advise and the eye opener because sometimes advise from others is better then your own.I thank you all :-)xoxoxoxox
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 January 2009):
If you are done, you are done. I know it's hard to break someones heart, but if you are already starting to disengage from the relationship there really is no point for you to just "wait" for him to be something he obviously isn't.
I'm sorry.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 January 2009):
You should tell him face to face. Write down what you want to say and you have trouble telling him it all, tell him you wrote it down, but that you thought he deserved to hear it from you. Can always give him the letter after that if you can not tell him.
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A
male
reader, listening_and_learning  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 actually your letter idea sounds ideal in this situation. From what you've said it seems you've not been able to convey what you're feeling, face to face, so writing it all down is definitely the way to go for you. There is also another spin-off, in that you'll start writing and all the issues will crystalize in your own mind, giving the opportunity to be certain about your decision (though, be warned, sometimes that can backfire, and you might see something else). In the end, he'll be able to read your thoughts, and re-read for confirmation, as you want them to sound, not the flustered or too emotionally charged version, which will only lead to misunderstanding or un necessary hurt. Not to say he won't feel hurt by what's basically a 'dear john' letter, but at least it'll be what you truly feel. Our thoughts will be with you, and we send you positive thoughts. Good Luck honey.
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A
female
reader, jellybeaner +, writes (5 January 2009):
jellybeaner is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell he tells me not to give up for the past month not to give up on him.yet last week he tells me he doesnt think hes ready for a relationship havent heard a single thing from him in almost a week.so i am wondering who gave up on who here cause ive put in so much time andd effort and feel im getting shit on here ive given him 6 weeks of space no calling him or anything.hes been the one doing that i hate to give my all only to have nothing in return and my outcome will be nothing i have no problem dumping him to his face i just have a problem telling him exactly how i feel without it coming out right.dont get me wrong i want to be with him i love him with every ounce of my heart.and he knows this but all i get in return is that im awesome,hot,andhe likes me alot shit lifes to short for this how much time do i actually give him? i told him i would wait if i knew that was what he really wanted but i get mixed signals so im very confused and lose much sleep snd time over this loving someone i mean truly loving someone must take 25 hours a day 8 days a week cause im exausted loving him enough for the both of us.wonder if i can get a paycheck lol :) thanks again for listening xoxo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): wow your question of this letter is what I also needed to make my own choices clear. I too very recently broke up with my b/f of 5 years via written words. I think if expressing youself in written words is the most comfortable for you then SO BE IT. It is hard enough being true, so as long as the truth be told its fine :) stay strong.
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Just think about how you would feel if a guy wrote you a "break up" letter.
He may not strike your interests anymore but at least, he deserves a face to face explanation to why you're doing what you're doing.
Good luck!!!
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A
male
reader, chrissa  +, writes (5 January 2009):
if you feel that you can only express how youve been made to feel by writing it in a letter then so be it. He has to know and you have to let him know and so if you really feel you struggle to tell him then go ahead write it down and hand it to him or post it to him, then you can put this ghost to rest.
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