A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:in the past me and my gf broke up for two weeks and got back together. where she was with other men while we were not together. i was not with anyone, we came back and tried a mutually exclusive friends with benefits thing. and that's when i caved in to this other older woman's obvious advances towards me. my gf was going to leave me and i was going to be just another ass hole that got something he didn't deserve. i was a wreck and gave her flowers and a poem from the heart. in short since then we've almost been together for a year now.the topic of having a threesome with another man has come up in the past and more recently. in the past i half jokingly said that if a threesome with another man happens than one with a woman should happen (visa versa) but now with our history im not sure its a good idea.she really is the best person ive had a romantic relationship with and we could very well tie the knot in the future.i recently thought that maybe another couple joining us would be somehow less emotionally taxing ( both a guy and a girl at the same time) has anyone had a similar relationship where they went through with it and all was well?any suggestions as to approach going through with this in a safe and healthy way (psychologically and physically)?i love her very much and i don't want to be restrictive in any way, but im not sure how either of us would respond to actually seeing the other being pleasured by someone else.
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broke up, flowers, friend with benefits, got back together, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (2 August 2013):
 If you question it dont do it. Play it safe.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 August 2013):
 That's a bit of a strange question. Regardless of your past of nutual cheating : if you are not sure you want to do it, and you are afraid you would react badly to seeing your wife with another man... and she feels the same, she is not sure she wants to do it and she fears etc.etc,,- then why do you even want to try , why do you even consider it ?...
I would understand if it was a burning, overwhelming desire for either one or both- but you are on the fence, she is on the fence, then why doing it ? Doctor's orders ?
I also inderstand that often in life you have to let go of fear and just try new things, just be experimental, you could discover new worlds. Like, someone that's dragged kicking and screaming to his first Chinese reastaurant , and then he'll only want Chinese food.
But this experiment is not devoid of consequences as other milder ones, this is something that could rock your marriage from the foundations, and actually sink it. Particularly with the added weight of your history- but even without it. This is not like tryng out Chinese food or roller coasters: if you don't like it, you just don't go back anymore and forget about it. This is something that could actually change your current dynamics, - why do you want to risk it - when actually you don't even REALLY want to risk ?
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