A
male
age
41-50,
*owerslam
writes:My ex tried to contact me on Facebook. I didn't add her as a friend because every time i hear from her it brings me down for days. This time however i saw that she has a new surname and its really brought back some unwanted memories.My question is more about asking does anyone know any techniques for not letting these things affect me. I think i'm probably over sensitive as it's been 3 years since we split.Any recommendations would be appreciated.
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male
reader, alternaterealities  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 There is only one cure I've found for this time of thing. One day you will meet someone who will have your heart banging off your ribs it beats so damned fast.
In the meantime, when you felt so deeply for someone it's impossible to make your heart not feel or think about them. It was about 3 years for me to get over a breakup from a 5 year relationship. One day I met the next person and BOOM.
Now unfortunately I'm there again myself. It just means you have a heart man. That's not a bad thing to have.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 Stop checking her facebook... And potentially tell her you don't want her to contact you?
It can take years to get over your ex, and people move at different speeds. It took me approximately 5 years to get over my first love. And I still find my self affected from seeing my next ex, and it's been about 3 years since that ended... Now that I am finally fully recovered from my first love I have to start recovering from my latest ex, and it's only been some months.
Things take time, and it will hurt less and less. One day soon you will find yourself not hurting from seeing something with your ex, although you might start reminiscing. Im fully over my first love after around 5 years like I said, but when I see him I am taken back a bit, and you always wonder what the person is going through now, how they are, if they still do the things you remember etc. I think when you have loved someone a little piece of them will always be with you, and you'll never forget. But after time has gone by the memories won't hurt, they will be like memories of a dream you once had. Faded, not painful.
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