A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Three years ago my wife had an affair with a married man and it has absolutely destroyed my life. We had what I thaught was a wonderful live with five great kids. I was unable to forgive my wife of twenty two years for hurting me so much even after she beg me to. I am now separated from my wife that I once adored. I just cannot seem to cope with the situation I seem to have lost everything I loved on this erath. After discovering my wifes affair I had a mental breakdown for the first time in my live. I am now living on my own in a flat and that is very hard to be away from my children. I also get the feeling that my children are upset with me for not forgiving there mother. They dont know all the details ie that there mother had unprotected sex with this man and that she left the hotel room without showering. The thaught of this is on my mind constantly and it is driving me insane. Please help me with any advise you can give thank you.
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affair, married man, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): Thank's for your advice. No I did not stray as I adored my wife. The reason I am in the flat is that I did not want my children to suffer any more by me asking my my wife to leave the home. Three of my children are under 18 and I think they still need there mother.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 July 2010):
There is only one piece of advice I can give you, and that is to get counselling. You have been treated shabbily, and your reaction is one of the worst I've read about on this site, and I feel bad for you. I think you need to take a step forward and start counselling. That's all I can suggest, and I hope you can get over this slowly. Just remember that your kids will need you, and whatever you may think ,they do love you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): firstly my heart goes out to what you are going through.
NOW you need to forgive yourself. you need to know that SHE DESTROYED your home, marrigae, and kids lives. you did not. your wife strayed from the marital bed AND SHE destroyed your lives. your kids are very vvery selfish to blame you for not making it work with her after she destroyed what you had. i think your kids need a lesson in morals and cheating and the devestating effects infidelity has on all concerned. it is so sad that your kids cannot see what this woman has done to you. it is sadder still that you are paying the price for your wifes betrayal. if your kids are old enough you need to sit them down and TELL them what their mother has done and how she destroyed her marriage. i find it admirable that you have not sold her stink to everyone.
yes you are mourning the loss of your family life and wife. BUT are you not better off than with a woman who cared so little for her husband that she did what she did. this woman did not respect you as a man and as a husband. she betrayed you and yu feel the betrayal in the core of your being. so please take the time to mourn the loss of your marriage but know this: you are better off without her. your kids may not understand but what you are going through is anguish, dispair and orture. your thoughts are driving you mad and I think YOU have suffered enough already. this woman is out of your life for a reason. if you go back she will take it as a sign of defeat and continue her *horing ways. you owe it to yourself to make peace with what has happened and you owe it to yourself to continue to build your life without her.
why are you now in a flat. why couldn't you throw the cheating witch out? after all that was your home and you did not stray. am i wrong here?
i think you should continue with the professional treatment and should not bottle up your anger hurt and all that baggage you are carrying. cry if you want to and slowly pick up the pices. you will survive this and day by day you will have the strength to face the next day. your life is not over because she cheated. your life is just beginnoing and it can be a whole life, a full life if only you allow yourself to live again.
good luck and take care and know that your life is just so damn precious. you deserve better and better will come.
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