A
female
 ,
*obbyjo
writes:I seen my ex boyfriend today. We have been split up for 18 months now after he left me for soemone else. For the first 12 months I was so upset and hurt and angry. Then the pain started to fade a little and I accepted what happened. I have even become friends with his new girlfriend although I dont really speak to him.But why is it, every time I see him, my heart lurches and I go all hot and cant think straight for about 30 minutes? Does this mean that I still love him? When I dont see him I dont feel anything for him then when I do see him just walking by in the street its like wham and I feel it again. I really thought I had put all the past behind me but why do I go like this and will it happen forever? I dont get it with any other ex-boyfriend. But I did really love him. Im scared I still do. Please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): Every time you see him, it kicks you back down there. You feel hurt and rejected. Sounds like you can't avoid him. Can you change your routine/life/job/home/friends so that you don't have to see him, at least so much? Might sound harsh but you're not getting any distance which after 18 months you really should have. That makes me wonder if other things in your life aren't so good and your vulnerability to him is due to other factors which are affecting your self esteem. You might want to consider counselling to address why you're not able to move on. I'm sorry this is making you feel so bad. Good luck.
A
female
reader, talking sense +, writes (2 December 2006):
Hi
Ex boyfriends are a pain. You start getting all confused about your feelings and start asking yourself why you ever let them go? What you need to do is remember the reasons why and ask yourself whether you really do still like them or if its the idea of being loved that you like. Having someone to care about you and love you. (its nice to be wanted)Whats eating you up is the fact the your ex as moved on and found someone knew and you havent. Its jealousy not love. Sometimes its hard to tell the difference.
You will always have feelings for your ex because he was a part of your life in the past. He helped you grow. But he is not the right one for you. Whats meant for you will never pass you bye. Have some fun whilst your single cos your a long time married
Take care
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