A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I was on holiday, I met this guy and had a holiday romance :) When I got back, I felt really ill and when I did do a pregnancy test, it was positive, we left eachother our numbers and I called him, he said, and these are his exact words: "How the f*** is that my problem you w**** it's your f****** problem and not mine, you're the s*** and your baby is going to be exactly like you, a t***." I was really upset because he was really sensitive and caring on holiday, I now realise that it was just an act, :( I want to keep the baby but I'm scared of being a single parent! I'm three months gone now and I would have came earlier, but my friend only gave me the address last night. I also called him about a month or so ago and he said again, it wasn't his problem. I want help and I'm not sure of anything right now. I need your help, please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2007): If he is such an ass, i wouldn't bother with him at all. If his names not on the birth cert, then he has very few rights over your child. It doesn't seem likely he will suddenly arrive at your house demanding you give him the child. But my first son's Dad is "not around" ie on top of some poor teenager. He always seemed nice, and when i found out i was pregnant, he freaked, he found some other young girl and well anyone can guess what happened. She got knocked up, and he moved on again... We don't really know where he is now, but there are three of us, who know he is the father of our children! My son is now 8, and he has two half-siblings by me, 5, 3 and i am preggs. He also has an unlimited number of halfs from his dad. He has another 8 year old brother! And a 9 1/2 year old sister. that i know of. My son has a little box of his stuff, photos, old movie tickets me and him saw, a couple of his favourite cd's. I have his old football, a couple of his clothes. Which my son loves, for my son his Dad was too young to deal with being a Dad, he loves my hubby, who loves him too. But it isn't the same. Single motherhood isn't a walk in the park, it's not that hard though, on the motherhood side, you make all the desicions, you get 100% in what you child grows up like. Their is a much greater freedom. I love me hubby, but i miss the days where my son and did stuff together, just us! Keep the baby, you seem like a decent person, and a good mum to be. Just remember, that your child is a little bit of both of you and will want to know all about his Dad. You can't tell a 3 year old. Daddy is an evil a**, who doesn't give a s*** about you. Ask the father to send some stuff if he can, maybe a card once a year. It means the world to a little one.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (25 October 2007):
 The guy is a plank and not worthy of your attention - think of him as a sperm donor. I am pregnant at the moment (albeit in happier circumstances) and I do understand it can be a confusing and emotional time. By all means keep the baby if you wish as parent-child relationships can be the most fantastic thing ever, especially when you can call upon support of others like family and friends. Contact your local welfare service via the job centre as they can advise on all sorts of benefits for families and can actively pursue loser boy for child support money through the courts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Hi, these things happen. If you have decided to have the child then you now need to look after yourself more than ever. Go along to your doctors and have a word with them there. They are human and will help you with this situation. Where are your relative? Do you have a mam and dad? Can you get help and support from them? He may say he isnt responsible but he is the daddy, so he had better wisen up. You should get child support from him, but dont hold your breath. I am still waiting for help for my third child and he is coming up to 16! Forget about keep telling him, he knows the situation. If you need to get in touch with the Social then it is up to you if you name him, but if you cannot get any cash out of him then give his name and they will help out. Best of luck and the next time, wear a condom. This was a holiday romance with a kick that you are never going to forget. Just enjoy your future and bringing up your baby. It is very hard but totally rewarding. I know cos i did it by myself with my third child. Sending you big hugs.
take care
xxx
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