A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 20 year old student who left home for uni recently. But before I left I did something really horrible. I got drunk the night before I left in the house and went and hid in the linen closet in our bathroom. I waited for my mother to come home from work and take a shower as she usually does. I watched her get undressed in the bathroom, take a shower and I masturbated over her whilst she did it. I felt guilty and disgusted afterwards, and haven't been able to focus at uni at all. Should I tell her what I did? Or just try to forget about it?
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female
reader, beenthruit  +, writes (30 May 2009):
Sounds to me as if you just want to post a queston like this for an outraged response.But if not then I suggest you get out into the world and get a real life. For example get a girfriend and then spend tme doing some sports. Expend your energy in other more menaingfulways.Have you thought about what your mother would think if she knew?Well then ask yourself that and see if you still want o go into the bathroom while your mother is in there.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Hi. I'm glad you posted this message because it is really interesting. When I first read about Freud's work much of it made some sense, but I have always had difficulty understanding/agreeing with some of his theories, especially the Oedipus complex. You are - living proof however !!! I wouldn't worry too much about it. If Freud is to be believed, then one of the most basic hidden emotions has surfaced into your conscious mind. Nothing to worry about - only the same as your survival instinct, very crude and raw, and not very pleasant, but part of being human. Don't think that it is just a male thing - according to Freud's theory daughters have similar unconscious emotions for their father. We are just intelligent animals really - and sometimes you have to question the intelligence as well!! I see that Zim has also answered the question for you. Thanks for posting. Have fun at Uni. When you've got a spare hour in the library go and look it up - Sigmund Freud - Oedipus Complex.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (25 October 2007):
 I think you should seek professional help. It's kind of unusual for men/boys to have sexual fantasies about their Mom. Rather than sweeping this incident under the rug, I think you should get an appt. with a specialist and talk to someone about it. They might be able to help you understand these urges (not just the sexual ones, which are normal, but the ones connected specificially to your own mother) and help you deal with them in a more healthy way. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): Get your head back into your school work and stop thinking about it. It happened, so does shit! To forget about it isnt going to be easy but you must in time. When you are in the house with your mum around then keep out of the way and dont ever do it again.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, agony jess +, writes (25 October 2007):
right this may be a little personal but are you single?? if so this may be why youve got into this habbit. i say that you should stop this habbit right now or else it could ruin your relationship with your parents. if you are struggling i suggest you find a partner and then you can get sexually active with them dont tell you parents just yet but if its really interferring with you uni then tell someone hope you are ok jess
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A
male
reader, Zim +, writes (25 October 2007):
 That was not good, although it can be explained psychologically. First things first though, no, do not tell her about it. Try to push it out of your mind.
Think of it this way at first. You are obviously beyond disgusted at what you have done and feel so guilty about it. This means that you have a conscience and you would never do it again. You did this act under the influence of, I would imagine a large amount of alcohol which skews the lines of reality and also your inhibitions. However, that does not make what you did any less wrong.
There is something in Psychological literature from Freud, who says that something like this is known as an Oedipus complex, where the son finds the mother attractive. It comes from greek myth where a forgotten son unknowingly kills his father and marries his mother. Obviously, in modern times this is different (thank goodness). According to Freud, every boy at some point begins to find their mother attractive. The reasons for this are many and include the fact that you have a close bond with your mother and in some cases is the most contact you have with a female before you grow up. He states that resolving this "Oedipus complex" is essential in establishing gender roles in life. How, i'm not sure, as i'm not a psychologist.
Now, I can tell you that I have not heard many stories of this kind, but this attraction does occur in boys (and girls too apparently). People don't generally talk about it as it is obviously quite a social taboo to commit. You are very brave to ask about this so well done. Take the advice though and never do it again.
You know it was wrong, you desperately want to have not done it and your guilt is affecting your uni work. I think its safe to say that you would not do this usually and it was just the amount of alcohol in your system that brought out this subconscious "Oedipus Complex". I don't think you would ever put yourself into that kind of situation again, so don't worry about it. Think about it as an experience that is to be learnt from, but is to be forgotten.
I hope that helps. Hopefully an aunt with more psychological experience will be able to validate what I have said. If you still feel that it is bothering you or affecting your studies, go to see a psychologist. There is no shame in seeing these professionals. They can make sense of a lot of things and I can't praise anyone higher than if they try to help themselves.
The best of luck to you. And don't do it again!
ZIM
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