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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm 16 years old and I've found the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. We had an amazing relationship and a deep understanding of eachother. Unfortunately neither of us are mature enough to keep an adult relationship going for longer than 4 months (we've been on and off for a year). So now I have to wait until I'm out of education and hes mature enough to be happy staying with one person(he's 18 by the way). I know I'm young to have decided all this but I know he's the one, we've just had some trouble keeping things together. He has a girlfriend right now but he seems to be having trouble distancing himself from me as he keeps trying to get on with his life without me, and then calling me or whatever (he cheated with me a few weeks ago). The problem is I don't know when he's going to be ready for a long term relationship (and I might find out too late), and I want to be with him so badly, but I can't cope with this on/off situation because it's screwing with my head. I can't move on from him because I just know that No one will compare to him. What do I do?
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female
reader, pica +, writes (11 November 2006):
No-one will compare to him because just now you won't let them. I'd say don't bother beating yourself up about him or holding this torch for him too tightly. So, you like the guy and you hope you might have a chance in the future. Well, perhaps, perhaps not. You are both pretty young. In the meantime get on with your life. Do things with friends. If someone else asks you out then go just for fun. Don't mentally take your ex along with you though - don't talk about him. Don't hang on to photos of him, try to avoid memories of him. Remember you broke up for a reason and .. "it's a called a break-up because it's broken." Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): Oh my sweetheart where do i start with you, 16 is so young to have made the choice of your life, it very rarely turns out that way. When i was 16 i was so totally in love i could never have imagined that i would or could have loved anyone more deeply, but i was so wrong. He committed suicide and i was left all alone. I went crazy for a while looking for what i had lost and then my first husband came on to the scene. We had 2 kids but he left me when they were 3 and 4 and again i went on a crazy spell then i met hubby 2 and that marriage lasted only a month. I gave up looking for the right guy cause to me he didnt exist then one night i went out to a club at the age of 37 and met my soul mate who is now my partner and father to my kids, so at 16 i would think about 1)a career 2)life without a man 3)a future. At this time in your life you should be having fun not thinking about setteling down although its always a nice idea. You need to experience life at the fullest without all the complications. Please dont pin your life on one person as this can cloud your view, your soul mate maybe just round the corner, give it time your view might change and you may find the love of your life isn't the one for you. Good luck from a 38 year old xxx
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