A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why does this man keep asking me out? This man is friends with a man that I like. The man I like has been seriously ill lately (he had an operation recently and was in hospital for a few weeks). This man has asked me to go out with him a few times, but I'm not sure if I want to because I don't think it would be fair to his friend because he has been so ill, and I think he likes me too. He has been through enough recently and I don't want to hurt him by going out with his friend. His friend knows that he has been really ill and been in hospital. We all kept in touch with each other when he was in hospital.I think it's strange because this man hardly knows me. He has only seen me in person a couple of times briefly, and we haven't sent text messages to each other that much. I'm just really concerned about his friends health at the moment. I have been upset actually because he hasn't contacted me since he got out of hospital, although, he did text me back when I contacted him when he was in hospital. I care about him a lot. I thought his friend was good looking when I saw him, but I think it is a difficult situation.The thing is though, I don't think we will end up in a relationship, especially now because he might not want to because he is so ill, but his friend is asking me out. I hope it isn't some kind of trick?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2014): the reason he has my number is because his friend who is ill tried to call me once on his phone because he didn't have any credit on his phone. so he must have kept my number since then. I don't know if the man who is ill knows that he has been talking to me.I haven't contacted the man who is ill yet, but his friend text me again yesterday to tell me that his friend is getting better from his operation. I thought it might have been a trick because there was a time once when his friend pretended to be the man who was ill when he sent me a text message (I know that sounds strange). And I also think it's strange that this man says he fancies me when he hardly knows me. I just cant tell if he is genuine. The man who is ill has said that he likes me, but we just haven't ended up in a relationship. I'm not sure whether to date his friend as I don't know if he is genuine.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2014): I've been following your posts for some months now.I'm sorry, but I'm going to be brutally honest about what I read in these posts.I don't think the ill guy is interested in you at all, at least not in the romantic sense. You didn't really know each other that well before you found out he was unwell. At least, there was no hint of a romantic relationship. He kept in touch whilst he was in hospital, when he was probably restricted in movement and bored, but since he's home he hasn't tried to contact you. Have you tried to contact him?I don't think he'd mind at all if you dated his friend. In fact, I think he may actually have given his friend permission or encouraged him to ask you out (how else would he have you number)Is this what you mean by a trick?If you don't want to date this friend of his, then just keep turning him down. Be firm if it's annoying you and ask him to stop pursuing you.Would you accept a date from this man if you weren't so romantically interested in the ill guy? You obviously would like something to happen between you and the ill guy but think that it can't happen because of his illness. You're probably right - he isn't in a position to consider nurturing a new relationship while his life still hangs in the balance. But how long will you put your life on hold for him? Until he dies? Until he goes into remission? What if he goes into remission and you discover that he never had romantic feelings for you at all and you were just another much-appreciated friend?
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