A
male
age
51-59,
*KW
writes:HiI was introduced to a girl a few months back by a friend. We got on really well, but she was still seeing this guy, although it had really come to and end with him.I lost contact with her, then she popped up on facebook and told me she'd finished for good with the guy and was interested in me.She lives a fair distance from me here in the UK, but I went over anyway, and to cut a long story short we're now in a relationship. Four months now, not easy with the distance. We see each other usually every alternate weekend as I have my kids on alternate weekends too. She has a little boy and can't travel as much as she'd like.It's all getting too much. I know it's important to stay in touch when you're doing long distance, but she texts and rings me constantly from stupidly early in the morning to late at night. i have a demanding job with little time for personal stuff, I've told her this yet she still rings me and them texts asking why I dont reply. I get bored of the evening phone calls...it's just the same conversation rehashed for another day, and I feel like I have no time for myself. i get home, tidy the house, do dinner, wash up, then I know she'll want to chat until bedtime.She says all I have to do is say and she'll leave me or a an evening if i want, we tried it and she still sent me at least ten texts!When we're together its great, I enjoy her company, but Im having doubts...she sees me as a potential stepfather to her son, but unfortunately I don't see her as a stepmother to my kids, I don't agree with some of her methods of child care.She has now said that she wouldn't know what to do if I left her, she needs me in her life to get by...I just don't feel like that. I love her, I do, but I don't need constant reassurance about it. I keep telling her we need to let it all happen naturally and not force it, but it feels like her constant holding onto me is actually driving me away!She has a lot of issues, a hellish childhood, dysfunctional family etc and the father of her son has zero contact with him. She can be very bitter about it. But on the other hand she is very hardworking and is developing club nights with an established promoter with an ultimate plan to make that her career.Its costing me a fortune in fuel to travel back and forth to hers, I sometimes wonder if I should try and find a way out of this now or let fate do its thing and see if we can compromise?As a little background, Im separated from my wife of 18 years, been single for about two years now...maybe Im just not ready for all this?
View related questions:
facebook, long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2010): sounds like my ex mate , any bet she is not over a old lover and is using you to try get by, do not believe a woman lke thois, it may seem she is in love with you with all the clingyness, but a true woman who love or in love with you wil understand your needs, she obviosly only thinking of herself. take some time and space to regain your mind and sanity. and then decide what is best. goodluck ym freind
|
