A
female
age
36-40,
*isaBee
writes:I`ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he treats me like shit. Sometimes i really dont believe he cares for me. I moved in with him about 2 years ago and he has bad anger management problems so we keep getting into fights over stupid things. He always ends up apologizing saying he didnt mean to treat me like that and he loves me and somehow because i love him, i end up forgiving him. I moved to a different city with him and although he has friends here i donnot. He often leaves me at home alot and i feel like a prisoner. I dont understand why he doesnt want to be with me at home or go out with me more. I feel very lonely like i have no one here and he makes me so sad i find myself crying alot. He does go out with me sometimes and we do have our good days but he is not the same as he used to be. He never calls me beautiful and when we fight he calls me every name in the book and throws things around and it hurts me. He is a very outgoing, funny, charming guy and he often jokes about things that he shouldnt. He talks about girls sexually and it bothers me but he says its just a joke. His actions make me feel like im not what he wants because he doesnt make me feel like im the only woman he wants to be with. My friends and family tell me i should leave him because they have seen the way he talks to me with a very harsh tone but im having trouble doing it because we have been through so much and he has once upon a time done alot for me but now im starting to feel like hes bored of me. Girls at school flirt with him and when i tell him not to hang out with this girl because i have met her and she hits on my bf, he says shes his friend and hes not going to stop hanging out with her. What should i do? Ive had talks with him and he has even cried to me saying he really loves me but that he doesnt know why he cant do the things i want him to do or act the way i want him to act. How is this love then? I really dont understand. I would appreciate if you guys would share your thoughts and experiences with me so that i can overcome this.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 If you want to stay in this relationship , you need to put your foot down and stand up to him when he treats you like crap.
Tell him that you will not take it anymore. Don't be a door mat or a martyr. If you do not speak up, he will slowly chip away all your self esteem and self worth .
He is an abuser and a control and manipulative freak. You need to stand up for your rights and live on your terms.
If he cannot do it, you need to leave him and he will be forced to change his ways.
A
female
reader, foxy7727  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 i found this website about a year ago and it was the people on hear that opened my eyes and gave me the support and answers i was looking for and my first question was very similar to yours. im happy to say i have been single for a year and im me agin im happy and flirting and not finally over my ex of 6 years i just wish it didnt take me 6 years to leav for good i broke up with him moves out and i have the confidence and self esteem ive lost over the years. please leav him men like him keep women like us around because they know they can they take advatage of us because they know us and they know how much we love them and we'd do anything to make it work but u can only do so much and ur relationship is beyond repair. hes a jerk and it wouldnt suprise me if him and this girl from school have done something. there are so many nice single men out there that really do treat women right. i found out 2 years later that my ex cheated on me he lied to me for 2 years. without gilt or anything. if i can help u out in anyway if u need to talk or just have a g/f that will make u feel better i will be glad to be ther for u. my friends have helped me big time.if it wasnt for them i wouldnt of moved out and got away. i wish u the best of luck and forget him move on and start over its so worth it to be happy:)
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