A
female
age
36-40,
*tinak
writes:My ex and I broke up almost two months ago. He texts me every so often to see how I'm doing,sometimes I respond,sometimes I don't. The breakup was HIS decision solely, I wanted to work things out...I haven't been inititiating contact with him at all,and been doing a pretty good job at it. Until yesterday,when I said 'Have a good day at school' out of the blue. We continued talking throughout the day,him asking me how life was, me telling him. He then told me he got sad a lot lately,and missed me so much..This brought up "us" and he said that he hurts every day, and misses my smile...I wish he wouldn't say things like this! He is prolonging this hurt and break up, and making me feel like there could be some hope when I know there is probably not..Why is he doing this? He really wants to hang out, but I keep telling him I am not ready to be his friend. I don't think he understands this, he keeps asking if we can please hang out..I know he wouldnt take advantage of me, I'll just want to hug and kiss him, and I know I can't..Do I hang out with him?
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (13 May 2010):
 I agree that if he's pressing the issue of hanging out together when you've made it clear that you're not interested or ready, he's simply being annoying and unsympathetic to your needs...
I think that it would be best if you didn't entertain his idea of of getting together to hang out. If he decided to end the relationship, then he needs to live with the consequences of that decision.
...of course, all of this is moot if you are so curious about this re-connecting that you want to go. I'd just suggest that you keep your hands to yourself and expect very little. Also, if he supplied some excuse about why he wanted to break up, then ONLY IF HE BRINGS IT UP ask if he thinks that he's resolved whatever the original excuse was... do you understand what I mean??
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