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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi there... okies i think ive been really stupid.Last xmas i slept with my boss whose married and we didnt speak properly for ages afterwards, on my part i was embarrassed and wasnt sure what he was thinking but on his part i thought he regretted. About 5 months later flirtin started again but we didnt do anything.This christmas it happened again, we both knew what we were doing. BUT i think i might be pregnant. I dont know whether i should tell him as i dont think ill keep it, im not ready for motherhood as im only 23 and it goes against my beleifs but i dont want to raise a child alone. Do i tell him or can i go and see my doctor without him knowing what im considering doing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): well i want to know did she keep the baby? or was she not even preggers?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Female anon...how many accounts do you have and are they for each personality?
Usually when you use your one account and post again...it comes up as this is being verified by the original poster.
Games.
Don't do them as it pisses people off; okay me as it is not fun to realize you are being played for some other persons enjoyment and wasting some other persons time and energy only because you delight in playing.
I am not your Barbie.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): No, I don't suppose you did mean to cause any harm to us. However, you have participated in causing it to yourself and your boss' wife and family. Imagine his wife's reaction if she finds out that her husband has been sleeping with you! Betraying her, not to mince words.
Yes, you will have to deal with it. Fact is, you made a poor decision in the first place a year ago by having sex with your boss - your BOSS who has the ability to hire and fire you and make your life miserable at work if he so chooses - and he is MARRIED - which should mean to you: HANDS OFF!! No matter WHAT the temptation. Being attracted to a man who is not available and whose commitment ought to be to his wife and children first and foremost is no excuse whatsoever for allowing him to have sex with you.
But: you didn't learn from this, because you went ahead and slept with him again and IF you used protection it didn't work. So you used poor judgment once more, having learned nothing, and compounded it by risking getting pregnant.
So now, either have an abortion; carry the child to term and give it up for adoption. Don't expect your boss to acknowledge that he's the father. Better to find another job and stay away from married men or sex at office parties! I would think if you remain in your present position, the atmosphere could become very unpleasant for you.......not to say, "toxic."
See if you can do better in the future, in terms of doing what is right - known as having some moral fiber - and polish up your self-respect and acting in your own best interests - because up until now, you clearly haven't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): Erm.. i didnt mean to cause any harm at all and it is a legitmate post! I've simply fallen for somebody I cannot have and i know that, ill just have to deal with it. I guess though unless you have been in the situation yourself you cant really understand it. Thanks for your posts anway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): Like? Respect is more important than having some man "like" you.
I wouldn't want to lust and desire a man who can be blatantly dishonest and show no repsect for me...that she doesn't even have it for herself or that she sacrifices it because of meaning she has attached to this unattainable man...I just won't support her on her poor decision.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): Okay so what if she has posted a few times and didnt like what you were telling her. Life in itself is a big process...obviously she thinks a lot of this guy and maybe she is just so confused about what to do. Cleary sayin she is stupid shows some sense of conscience on her part. To me for it to happen again, he must like her, he's clearly not happy 100% at home or maybe it was just temptation on both parts which happens nearly every day.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and obviously she would love for you to turn round and say go for it, but herself coming on here knows that she has a decision to make.
Personally i think she should wait till they see each other again and see what the atmosphere is like, if you can cut it like a knife walk away, if theres the same sexual chemistry you clearly need to talk. Find out what he wants and what things are like at home, if he's worth the wait then you'll wait for him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): Clearly we have made mistakes and with it comes knowledge and by practicing the lessons of that knowledge and governing ourselves in a fashion...we gain wisdom in the true sense of the word and not what the world would like to change it to better fit it's decaying value system.
She herself called herself stupid, we are just supporting her statement.
And no...I don't think this is a "legit" post as she has a few other posts and didn't like the direction they were headed.
She wants more people to tell her it was okay and that her and the Boss can live happily ever after.
Introducing some reality won't do her any harm.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (31 December 2006):
 Oh come on people...quit sitting on your high horses....how is telling her she's stupid going to Solve anything.....I sure wish I was like you all and never ever made any kind of mistake.
And by the way...It must be one he** of a Christmas party in your office......next year bring a camera and post the video instead....that will be more entertaining than the preaching.
About your problems.....you mean you did not use protection and you are, in advance, fearing the outcome of your degenerate corporate event...(I am teasing) First of all....From now On you must take prophylactics to the Christmas party....Second make sure your preggers BEFORE you panic....and most of All....make your decision before you tell him....
and if you decide to give it up for adoption or abort......you don't ever tell him...he has no need to know.
Now if you decide to keep the little future executive....then an ugly paternity suit will probably happen...ruin his life and yours...and his wife and kids...and he will spend most of his life behind in support anyway. But it is totally up to you. Realistically....Don't expect him to fall in your arms in adoration of your pregnant-hood......he'll deny it for at least 9 months....fire you...make you look like a fool and probably move to the new office in Africa to keep you from telling his wife. It won't be pretty.
Just know that only you can make this decision IF you are actually IN this situation. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2006): Yes, she's human. But what excuse is THAT to give in to a selfish desire, knowing it was wrong and she ran the risk of getting pregnant, and bringing misery to the man's wife and kids when they found out?
Look here: if her boss REALLY wanted to end his marriage and be with this girl, he had all the previous year to think about it. He didn't. Which leads me to think that he was using her for a bit on the side, just as she was using him.
Yes, "stupid", "selfish", "immoral" are suitable terms to describe her behavior - UNLESS she does a 180 degree turn in her life and gives it up and learns from it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2006): I like how you have all judged her straight away. Come on your telling me temptation never got the better of any of you. Yes he's married and she knows she did wrong and worring about being pregnant, how do you know when her xmas do was if thats when it took place.
Hun... your human at the end of the day, desire and feelings are about being human but if he is married and he wants things to happen with you then he needs to sort things out with his wife.
Finally you only live once, its a cruel world and people get hurt, maybe your doing his wife and him a favour but id really think about what you want before you proceed. Its better for you and him to decide whether you want any more or just brush it under the carpet.
Im only expressing my opinion as the rest of you so have.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (28 December 2006):
 Well I have to ask this? You slept with him THIS Christmas and you already think you are pregnant? I just get the feeling this is a bit of a fantasy and this is not a real post.....
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (28 December 2006):
 Well, if this is an actual post, you should feel ashamed. so should your boss. Peopel sleeping with married people seems to be rampant. Some people might say you've got unresolved issues from your childhood or he's taking advantage of you since he's your boss. I think you've both got no integrity. When someone makes a decision to be in a situation like this, they are heartless. Afterall, it's a choice. None is twisting your arm.
As for an abortion, right or wrong, who knows. The fact you're asking if he needs to know, is strange. Unless I'm missing something about laws in your area, why would he need to know? He doesn't sound like the kind of person who would care about future kids. He doesn't cherish what he's got already.
If this is true, one thing to remember is this. Affairs are wrong. I don't care what your reason is, or his. Wrong is wrong. If you want to have sex with this guy, do it in the right order. Make sure he's single. When women lay down with men, there is only one thing that is CERTAIN. IF a pregnancy results, both people are responsible but only the woman will be carrying the baby. That is a chance the woman takes because you can't tell where the guy will be the next day. Especially if there is no real connection.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (28 December 2006):
Well, if this is an actual post, you should feel ashamed. so should your boss. Peopel sleeping with married people seems to be rampant. Some people might say you've got unresolved issues from your childhood or he's taking advantage of you since he's your boss. I think you've both got no integrity. When someone makes a decision to be in a situation like this, they are heartless. Afterall, it's a choice. None is twisting your arm.
As for an abortion, right or wrong, who knows. The fact you're asking if he needs to know, is strange. Unless I'm missing something about laws in your area, why would he need to know? He doesn't sound like the kind of person who would care about future kids. He doesn't cherish what he's got already.
If this is true, one thing to remember is this. Affairs are wrong. I don't care what your reason is, or his. Wrong is wrong. If you want to have sex with this guy, do it in the right order. Make sure he's single. When women lay down with men, there is only one thing that is CERTAIN. IF a pregnancy results, both people are responsible but only the woman will be carrying the baby. That is a chance the woman takes because you can't tell where the guy will be the next day. Especially if there is no real connection.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): Having a sexual tryst once again; your actions prove you wanted this to occur and wanted this outcome so don't sit there and spew out crap about "it goes against your beliefs".
We cautioned you. We advised you on what was the best, right choice(s)to make. We gave you wisdom which would bring peace and happiness and you deliberately ignored the advice of others so you could create heartache, strive, turmoil in another's home and family. This is what is meant by the term HOMEWRECKER.
The Man (and I use that term lightly) is also a selfish, unrelenting moron to put his family and marriage in jeapordy on and unworthy individual such as yourself.
23 and stupid; by your own words and actions. Also add ugly and maniacal.
Raising a child alone is a consequence attached to your decision.
Using no protection??? In this day and age?
I am amazed at how many people choose to give in to stupidity and will let their immoral and base needs rule them that they throw caution and wisdom out the window for 10 minutes of lust.
So much to lose over 10 minutes.
I do not have pity or compassion for those who are diliberate and show no remorse.
You delight in this outcome cannot be hidden behind words; this post just smacks of a cat who ate the canary.
Pregnant on December 28, 2006? What, a not even a couple of weeks after a supposeded Christmas party?
I secretly desire that you are just some lonely twit out for a game on the net.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): So, having had sex with your MARRIED boss a year ago, you went ahead and did the same thing again this Christmas, despite knowing that he is not free to have a relationship with you, AND he is your boss.
If you don't know whether you are in fact pregnant, the first thing to do is get a pregnancy test and find out. Then decide whether you will get an abortion, or bring the child to term and give it up for adoption. If you don't feel ready to raise a child alone - and certainly it would be very difficult, and a 20-year responsibility for you at least - you are wise to recognize that.
As for whether you should tell your boss or not, I really don't know. What do you expect to achieve by telling him? Do you want financial or emotional support, or both? Would he be prepared to give it - or would he deny the child could be his, and maybe fire you?
You know now that getting back into sex with him again was not the best decision you could have made.
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