A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm not happy about our relationship, she always seems mad or angry when I come home. Seems like all we do is live together. She said its not me, but it cant always be the kids either. We kiss like we kiss our mothers, just a quick peck. She always seems to pull away from me! Sex alway seems like it needs to be quick and get done, whenever it happens. I feel like she don't care about me or my feelings. She Talks about the guys at work often!! Is there someone else? She never touches me in a loving manner, like sitting next to me and rubbing my leg or my arm or neck. Whispers in my ear. What am I suppose to think! I've had enough, i think we need to talk and resolve this out. This is not how a loving married relationship is supposed to be is it? Is it her medications, if it is we need to make it a priority to get them changed. I can't live like this anymore. I'm starting to think I need antidepressant pills or something. I can come home afterwork being in a good mood, and 10 mins later I'm depressed. Marriage counseling, Maybe that might work. I hate thinking divorce, that would break our kids hearts!!! And i don't know what I'd do. I know I've been through it as a child of divorced parents. But if we are not happy, who are we kidding. I mentioned about getting away for the weekend, and got no response. I'm tired of ignoring my feeling all the time! And being ignored. I love her very much! We never laugh or have any fun together. She once said to me that we have nothing in common! What does that mean? Does that mean she don't feel the same way about me then I do of her? She's the only women I've ever been with. She's been with other guys before me, but that don't bother me. Also neither of us has been divorced. Did we grow up and apart from each other? Just seem strange to me, she can talk to her sisters and be happy. But with me she can't. Any advice for me!!!Thanks, Mike
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advice. I had a conversation with her and told her my feelings, she thought everything was fine. We decided on going to see a counselor. Thanks again.
A
male
reader, Cccc  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 Hmm ok so shes on Meds?
You sure she cant do without them?
Not that its any of my business but is she Bi-Polar?Cause its just something way different and the response would also change.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies, just to add to it, we've been married for 14yrs. Before that we lived together for 7yrs. I've tried the rekindling side, going out to have fun and it seems that don't work. I do a lot of helping around the house, like laundry, dishes, cooking, and cleaning and all the yard work. I'm just saying that because I don't want you to think I'm lazy and don't help with the daily chores. We went to marriage counciling about 7yrs ago. The councilor said to me that she didn't see a lot wrong with me, but there was somethings. She spent a lot of time with my wife. Even put her on some medications. That didn't last to long and back to the same old ways.
Thanks, just wanted to give some more of our background.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 October 2010):
You offered yourself the best advice. Marriage counselling. the time has come for both you and her to get some counselling or talk and find out what's happening. It sounds like this could be fixed so long as you're both willing to open up and sort this out.
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male
reader, Cccc +, writes (5 October 2010):
Youve probably lost touch of each other a whole while ago.The flame is gone.BUT its only because you did not keep it going.
YES go for counseling and also find ways to bring the spark back.BREAK THE ROUTINE of Boredom and being selfish with TIME and Communication .
GO out and do something with them and I dont mean only ONCE but dont overdo it.IT will get allot WORSE before it will get better but trust me PUT time and EFFORT back into the relationship to make the sparks fly again.Like a wise man told me a while ago it takes allot of energy to create a SPARK!
And when you have the spark back you have to maintain it.TRUST ME do this now or it will be to late cause what you have described sounds to me like you have drifted apart a long time ago and youre in it to lose it and for the wrong reasons!
Remember even if everything you do its the Small things that count !
Actions speaks louder then words!I wish I knew this a while ago :(
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