A
female
age
26-29,
*eekn'boo
writes:So my boyfriend is in president of his fraternity and I know how important his frat is to him so I don't want to prevent him from his duties/fun. However, we recently broke up because he did something while drunk at a party that I didn't approve of and now we are working on us again. Before we get back together I want to discuss some guidelines so that he knows what I am okay with and what I am not okay with. Below are the guidelines and I want your opinion/suggestions on how to improve them. 1. We don't have to text 24/7 but a quick "morning"/"night" once a day is ideal2. Each of us are allowed to go to parties but a head ups to the other person is also not required but ideal3. Stray away from frat actives that can be considered cheating to your partner 4. Grinding at a party is NOT acceptable but talking to the opposite sex, play games, drinking (not drugs) lol basically anything that does NOT include anything sexual with the opposite sex is okay5. If a person of the opposite sex happens to need to stay over (because they are intoxicated/whatever) they may NOT sleep in the same bed (unless they are family) and may NOT stay in the same room unless under extreme situations but even then (unless they are family) they CANNOT stay in the same bed6. Communicate!! if you happen to break any of the rules and be open to questions and be honest
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broke up, drugs, drunk, get back together, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2015): Call me old fashioned but when you go to parties, it also depends on who you spend your time with. It may sound controlling but as long as the relationship is meant to be exclusive, there should be some guidelines there too. Unfortunate though that guidelines have to be enforced because where there is genuine love and caring, doing the right thing is a natural inclination and comes from the heart not because "you are not allowed to do otherwise." By now if your thinking I've had experience, you're right. The guy I'm referring to insisted on going out continually with other women friends for their birthdays while I stayed home. His rationale???? ........"they were there before me." At any rate, be careful and keep your senses keen.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2015): Hey girl, the rules seem to make sense and they're reasonable enough. But the thing I find weird is that such things seem natural if two people are in a relationship, and for them to be listed out in so many words.. Well, is it really necessary? If you say yes, then think why, as it doesn't bode well for the relationship.
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A
male
reader, married 21 years +, writes (30 September 2015):
"he did something while drunk at a party that I didn't approve of and now we are working on us again."
This may not be the answer you are looking for:
Why are you "working on us?" you are young, and probably fun and pretty. You are too serious too young. You have the rest of your life to work and work on things! You will never have the same opportunity to be free and have fun. Once marriage, careers, and children and bills come, you will be saddled with responsibility. Go make friends, explore the world. Don't OCD on your project boyfriend!
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