A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello. Growing up, ive been rejected by many people, my peers, strangers, some teacherz because i was fat and shy. Now im older and some people still make me feel like i did when i was young. They still treat me like i cant think on my own especially my parents. Some say insultive things and i cant even defend myself. Ive grown up and weighs less now but im disrespected even by kids they treat me like im their age. How do i stop this? Im planning on becoming CA one day and i dont want people disrespecting or underestimating me. I also wish to have a family of my own and i want my kids to trust me. Ive been betrayed many times by people whom i thought loved me. So, so much of my life ive been hurt and i want to let that go. I want to grow bright and powerful. I know im a strong woman but sometimes i get weak. How do i build myself to become someone likeable yet tough?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2015): There is something so endearing about this question and,at the moment im not sure what it is other than that you have really thought deeply about what you want out of life and have seen changes and progression even in your short years.I would say you are well equipped to achieve what you want out of life.Young children clearly find you friendly and try to speak to you on an equal level.There is nothng wrong with tbis unless they think they can boss you about and tell you what to do but you sound perfectly capable to deal with them even if you think they are being too familiar.If you get the chance to go to the gymn that is very good for confidence building and isnt very hard either ..you just repeat walking on a treadmill or stepping on a step machine or swimming etc until you feel as though youve done enough but dont let anyone boss you there either.If people get aggressively rude or demanding you just say rather coldly " With all due respect..(pause) I am not going to do that!If they persist and try to push you further or harder you just say "With all due respect I didnt sign up for that!" This is quite handy to know for all kinds of future situations.
A
male
reader, married 21 years  +, writes (30 September 2015):
That's a big question to ask. I'll try to be brief and yet effective:1. Love and respect yourself first! 2. Don't look to others for the basis of your own self3. Be friendly with everybody, but you pick your friends!4. Get some emotional distance from unapproving parents. That is a life script that needs to be rewritten.5. Find new communities of loving people such as church or yoga groups. venture away from toxic persons. become more aware of what content people are speaking into your life, then choose how close you want them to your core.6. being likable is fairly easy. start liking people! asking questions about others and their interests gets conversations and then relationships started. people love to tell you what they think. so when you ask them and listen, they feel appreciated or liked and often the same is reciprocated.Being tough while likable means you are self directed. You have your own agenda and goals in life. once you establish your own self respect, you will find other self respectful persons will start to mingle your way!hope this helps! venture forth!
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