This guy wants to have is cake and eat it too

A female , *onfusionz writes:

Back with my ex after nearly 4 years apart. I did write in before in July as my ex had said he wanted to get back with me and our son who is almost 6 now. I didn't know whether to believe him as he was living with another woman and kept saying he was ready to leave her but he kept blowing hot and cold and I wasn't sure of his intentions. Well the good news is that he did leave her and he's been living with us for 2 weeks now. However there seems to be a problem already in that ever since he left they are still very much in communication with each other. They have been phoning and texting each other almost every day. Whenever the phone rings he sneaks off to have private conversations or private texting. He even finds himself down by her as he claims he's still got stuff down there to pick up. I have told him to get all his stuff out of her house as I don't want her interfering in our relationship but there always seem to be something else left down there. She knows he is with another woman but not back with me and she left a text message just days after he left saying how she really misses him and she knows she shouldn't say certain things to him but she just can't help it. She also said she hopes this new woman is everything he's looking for. I really don't like this kind on talking and why is he encouraging her. He can't seem to leave his mobile for one minute. Wherever he goes, the mobile goes too whether its to the loo, in bed, in the kitchen, everywhere he has the phone with him at all times. Does this seem to be the behaviour of someone who is being straight foward with me? He keeps trying to reassure me that he's left her for me and he is living with me and is here every night so what more do I want but his actions proves something different. I have to keep asking myself why did he leave her as they seem to be calling and texting each other quite often. He pops down whenever he gets the chance as she only lives a 5 minute drive away from me, only Monday this week he was down there and came home again with something else of his. What more could be going on with them if he claims it's over? Why are they still communicating? Whenever I try to confront him with it, we get into an argument about it and he says he can't just stop talking to her just like that as they've been together for about 3 years and there will always be things for them to talk about. I must just give it time to ride the waves and then things should settle down soon. But how soon is soon? He keeps saying he's with me and he want's to be with me. He doesn't want to look any further and wants me for his wife. However what he said to me before he came to live here is different to what he's doing now. He said he wouldn't need to speak to her again and he would just walk away and not bother with her as there is nothing there for him but as I said almost every day they seem to be talking and about what I really don't know. I don't know whether I am looking too deep into this or am I justified in thinking that it's not completely over. I really do want this to work with us but if this other woman is going to keep getting in the way, obviously on purpose, then I really don't think it will last another 2 weeks. He says that I am giving him reason to just leave because I am causing him stress and accusing unfairly but he is also causing me stress and giving me good reason I feel to have doubts. I just want to know that I am with someone who can be honest and will allow me to trust them. What do I do? Help.

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