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male
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anonymous
writes: Ok, my girlfriend brought up this guy thats been visiting her at work recently. I guess he comes by every once in a while, and it seems like every time he stays for longer. Like until after the store closes, which got her in trouble with a manager. However, recently hes been talking alot about himself with her, subtly telling her all his accomplishments, how hes found God, how he's from some exotic island, why she should be an optimist, all the way to giving her his phone number. She refuses to acknowledge that he might be trying to convince her he's a great guy so he has a chance with her. Personally, I think he's trying to lull her into a sense of security in order to get her away from me, and hopefully get with her. I know it sounds like speculation on my part, but from my experience with male personalities, no guys spend a long time talking with girls and giving them their phone numbers so they can "hang out" in an innocent way. She told me she had no intention of calling him, but this kid sounds like he could potentially be a real creep. I study psychology, and what I've come to notice is that this kid fits the profile of someone potentially dangerous. He's a security guard, and stalkerish guys tend to give their victims a false sense of security through their job. He seems to be actively making himself out to be someone she can talk to by telling her all about himself and by insinuating how he's a great guy through all his accomplishments. I dont know much else on this fellow, but what do you folks think?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Okay, he either is very lonely and feels that he can chat openly with your girl as shes great to talk to or hes a really wierd creepy guy! Perhaps both. He seems to be stalking her in anycase! Whichever he is, I wouldnt really want to be around him and sounds as though hes started to now harrass her, if shes becomes too freaked she can tell someone about it. I wonder if anybody else there has experienced the same thing ? Maybe she should mention it to another colleague so thats she got some back up just in case he gets any wierder, might be a good idea to let someone know anyway, maybe mention it to her manager for safetys sake. YOu gotta be careful this day an age unfortunately, there are alot of wierd folk out there but equally lots of sincere and lonely people, so you gotta be careful how you act, but my advice would be to steer clear wherever possible and if she can go and do something else whenever he is near, just in case he is a serious wierdo!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): Book a restaurant, visit her at work unexpectedly just as she is about to finish. Put your best gear on and whisk her away for some dinner, wine and candlelight. Not only are you showing her that you're a romantic and you care about your relationship, with any luck that pest will be around and hopefully he'll get the message and leave her alone.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (1 June 2006):
 Wow he is a scarey creep, I worked with sex offenders for over 20 years and they oftern find jobs that will bring them close to the victims but they would be in a "respectable" position and oftern one of trust, so the victims and there parents would oftern send there kids to them if they had problems instead of saying stay away from this man etc.
Sounds like this guy is stalking your girlfriend and she must be careful because I worked with a serial rapist once who raped girls who he had got to know and then made a move on, the ones who started a relationship with him were the ones he did not rape, the ones who turned him down he stalked and finally raped, it was a punishment for them and he would make them feel the pain like he did of there rejection.
Your girlfriend needs to tell him something like you will be getting married soon etc this may make him realise he has no chance and if you could engineer it that you are at her work one day when he is there he would see you so in his mind you then become real, whilst now you are just a name so of no consequence.
i could go on and on as sex offenders are sadly my "mastermind" subject, (yes I do need to get out more) but seriously I can not tell you how much he is fitting a pattern and how she must not encourage this man even subconciously.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2006): I hate guys like the one you describe, whilst at University I had to get two security guards fired for trying it on with female students.
As for your girlfriend, if you trust her then you have nothing to worry about. There will always be creeps around and if your girlfriend has any intelligence she will see him in the same way you do. You just gotta trust her, but at the same time, if he is obviously trying it on with her, and she is spending lots of time with him, that is clearly not really on and you have a right to ask her what she thinks she doing.
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