A
male
age
26-29,
*iker15
writes:So I don't really know what to do, now. I really like her and I genuinely think she's sweet and cute and all, but there's this nagging feeling always in the back of my mind.She hasn't had a good history with boys, because all the guys in her crowd go for the super-hot-sluts instead of the cute little virgin girls like she is.So, we found each other and it's been 3 months. I've cut it off with my best "bro" of 2 and 1/2 years at her request. My best bro never really had a lot of friends and was always a loner, he followed me everywhere all the time 24/7. So, I just cut it off..Well today, that same bro invited me to hangout today, So i was like okay whatever. Then he pointed out to me that he thinks i've changed since i've gotten with this girl. He says I'm always quiet now and I never like speak up and say funny stuff all the time like I used to.And maybe he's right, I really am a lot quieter, mostly because i'm with my girlfriend all the time, and she's with her friends all the time. Her and her friends are usually the ones talking, I have nothing to contribute and her best friend hates me with a passion for taking some of my girlfriends attention away from her, because it's never (ever) been like that before for her.So, how I feel is. She's really happy to just HAVE a boyfriend, but I don't think I'm REALLY what she wants. And that's why she's been trying to change me by making me stop hanging out with my best friend and she's been trying to make me "cool" etc.Does my theory have any merit? Could I be right?. She says I'm not just a "phase" but I'm not sure if she likes me, or she likes the fact she has a boyfriend..someone please tell me I'm wrong?..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (1 October 2011):
 I have a teenaged daughter and am privy to many converstations she has with her friends.
At such a young age, boys and girls are figuring out romantic relationships and how they work. Sadly, having a bf or gf for most people at this age really is about status.
Having a bf increases your worthiness in the eyes of others.
You are a bright young man to be questioning if she really is that into you, and sadly she is whipping you into shape to make herself look better to her peers.
This friend was someone who enjoyed genuinely liked who you were. He was not trying to change you. That is a true friend!
Girlfriends should be true friends too! They should appeciate who you are, not who you think you should become!
A
male
reader, riker15 +, writes (1 October 2011):
riker15 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe shitty thing is we JUST took eachothers virginities.. And if i bail out within the next few weeks, i'll be labeled as a guy that just has sex and leaves.. So my plan is, stay with her for a little while longer. Don't have sex at all.. And gradually bring up these issues to let her down really slow with no hard feelings.. Wish me luck..
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (1 October 2011):
 Actually, you are an intelligent guy. I think you're absolutely right in that she wants the boyfriend experience, but wants to shape and change you into her ideal.
Don't let her separate you from your best friend. Girls will come and go, but friends are really valuable. When you break up with your girlfriend, who's going to be there for you when it happens?
Don't ever let a girl tell you to leave your friends.
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