A
female
age
26-29,
*weetest_sin
writes:I had a friend of 2 years and at the time we became friends, I had a boyfriend. Me and my friend were so close, we were like sisters and I cared about her a lot. I hope the feeling was mutual. There was a lot of competition and jealousy in our friendship however.Mainly to do with my boyfriend. She used to speak to him all the time and at first it never bothered me and then it did. I kept quiet about it for a while but it didn't help. It hurt me seeing her come up to him when I'm speaking to him or ask him to go out with her at weekends, so one day, I asked her if she liked him because she was so eager to speak to him and I told her whenever they share their private joke, it hurt my feelings. She said sorry, but it never stopped. Then one day, my boyfriend started to talk to her less, then ignore her because he wanted to make it up to me.Although that was sort of what I wanted, I didn't enjoy seeing my friend sad, so I did my best to cheer her up and get them to be friends again, as much as I didn't want to, and when I did. The negative feelings happened again.Then I had an argument of my boyfriend and we broke up for a week, she started talking to him and told him she loved him and tried to kiss him. He didn't have any feelings for her whatsoever because during the time they were talking, he was trying to resolve our relationship with me. When me and my boyfriend made up, he showed me the texts she sent him and this made me really upset. I couldn't stand them two being friends afterwards either and I asked her to tone down the flirting cos that's all she ever does with him and she got angry at me and said I was taking him away from her. She said a lot of horrible things, like how I was never really her friend. I tried my best to make up with her, I honestly did but she wasn't meeting me halfway or regarding my feelings and when my boyfriend ignored her, she wanted to be my friend again. Although I really wanted to be her friend again, I couldn't see how I could trust her or even be her friend. I believe she's a good person inside though and she's human, she made a mistake but after a long, serious talk with my boyfriend telling him everything I kept inside, he actually showed some effort into rebuilding what we had.Because of this, I lost all my friends within the group we both hang around in and I was forced to make new ones. They chose her side and these boys she told our feud about started bullying me in school because she twisted the story and made me out to look like the bad guy. Those boys beat up my boyfriend too after he walked me home. This was nearly a year ago. I see her everyday in school and it annoys me because she's the first face I search in a crowd and I keep going on her facebook and although I have to live with the trust issues I'm trying my hardest to repair with my boyfriend.I always get upset the minute something reminds me of their private jokes and when some of my new friends speak to her. My boyfriend and I are ignoring her completely and he's so good at it. He's really trying his hardest to make me happy again and we're stronger than we were then. I want to stop feeling this way for his sake and mine. Please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Right firstly darling i just wanna say, you are very young and relationships only get more serious and complicated as you get older. I understand why your so hurt however because you have been forced to choose betwen ur man and your friend.
I i were you I would write ur friend a letter on facebook and message it to her privatly. Im not trying to tell you what to do but this is what I would say,
Dear "friends name" Its been a year since we stopped speaking to eachother and i cant go on like this any more without telling you some things. I want you to no that even tho we dont talk any more, every day in school your face is the first one i look for in a crowd. This is because at one point we were like sisters and you and "boyfriends name" were two of the most important people to me at that time. I want you to accept my relationship with my boyfriend as being something that is a big part of my life and I hope u can find a boyfriend that is good for you. I wish that we could be friends again, or at least be comfortable enough to know that you dont hate me any more because I still miss you.
anyway I hope this helps a little. good luck hunny xxx
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Ok well she is the one that was in the wrong here there is a rule in friendship and that is never to go near a friends boyfriend and she broke your trust big time and she needs to be the one that comes to you and earns it back if she is not willing to do this then hun am afraid she is just not worth your time or effort. We go through life learning that the people we trust the most can let us down but it helps us grow stronger as people and allows us to meet people that are trust worthy.
Its good that your boyfriend and you are working this out together am glad to hear it dont punish him over it as it was her that was doing all the flirting and running to him and like any other guy he was probably just soaking up the attention and am sure he never meant to hurt you.
As for you feeling jelous when your new friends start talking to her try and not to they are there own people and they need to be allowed to make up there own mind who they are friends with dont bad mouth this girl just dont mention her at all try and erase her from your thoughts and be the bigger person.
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