A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in a very unhealthy relationship with my boyfriend. We have currently been on and off for about 8 months. We've dated prior to this as well.We constantly break up and get back together. I make excuses for his out of control behavior and I back him up to my family and friends.I truly feel like it is me against my family and friends. They are constantly telling me to leave him!One day we hate eachother, and the next we love eachother, and I'm sick of this dysfunctional relationship. I want something real with him.How can this happen, when he is also associated with gangs and drugs?He has abused me both verbally and some what sexually.. We've had sex numerous times, but he didn't know that I didn't want tooOr maybe this is just me making excuses for him again?Anyways, we have had a long distance relationship since the third month into our relationship, and he is moving back to my home town in a couple days.I don't know if there is any chance for us to make this work. Should I just pick up and leave all together? I wouldn't really wouldn't know how to do it if I did.I tell myself this is the last time I'm going to do this, but then we end it - and somehow get back together again!
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female
reader, Strawberry Fields  +, writes (23 June 2009):
Abi is right, also, you can read books on relationships, maybe try Greg Behrendt's "He's Just Not That Into You"? I love that book since it has made me feel empowered..coming from a person who has been in crappy relationships..or try finding other relationship books that can help you get back on your feet. Read Cosmopolitan's (the magazine) column on The Single Girl's Bible (they publish it every month) and it will make u look forward to life, or read self-help books that offer your soul comfort such as The Secret. If anything, just PM :) We're here for you
A
female
reader, AbiMF  +, writes (22 June 2009):
Leave him, this really isn't good for you. But since you're finding it hard, why don't you organise to do a lot with your mates, find things to fill your time so you won't feel the need to go back to him again, and try and break out of the cycle of getting back together with him. It might be that it's been so long being with him is almost a habit, which is why it is so hard to let go, but just take it one day at a time and you'll be fine. Also, don't let yourself think about him at all, especially not the 'what if's, if you start to think like that find something to distract yourself, it's not easy but it's the only way to get over someone, trust me, I've been there. Good luck hun, and feel free to message me if you want a chat,
Abi xxx
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A
female
reader, Strawberry Fields +, writes (22 June 2009):
It really is an unhealthy relationship. He is abusive, he is dangerous, and he provides no sense of security for you both physically and emotionally. How things are like now are a hint of what the future is. Yes, people can change and I suspect this may be the hope why you still go back to him, but for now, he's not good for you. If it's meant to be with this guy, he will come back some day a changed man and someone who will do anything to make you happy. Please be strong and believe me, you will find that guy who will treat you better and you'll be too busy being loved to ask for advice for 'unhealthy relationships'. Hugs
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